If your sacred book is the Torah – try reading the Koran. You will encounter a few friends.
If your sacred book is the Buddhist Sutra then take a look at the Bible. Find how the connective power of a living prayer can enhance a meditation.
If your sacred book is The I Ching what can you learn from The Upanishad? The variety of of life expresses a higher love that empowers us with positivity and guidance.
If your sacred book has become the Wall Street Journal then make a detour into the park. Take the time to try reading the bark of a red pine with your hands.
If Facebook is your bible leave your phone at home and walk with a friend in the dusk.
If the story in your sacred book is being filled with pages of habits and assumptions about what other people think then stop. Turn to a fresh page.
Find a way to elevate. For example: Breathe, smile, get amazed by an Olympic athlete, share something awesome about a medical innovation, get out in nature early one day, put down the phone and love the fact of the small node on the top of your heart that sends the electrical signal that makes it beat. Pretty cool.
Finding a way to improve my intention is a priority
Vacuums are frustrating. Especially if you don’t like to clean. And aren’t mechanically inclined.
And hate to admitting you are cheap.
The industrial vacuums can do a good job and last a while if taken care of. Even though they too have designed obsolescence (of about 1 year of regular use) and cheap plastic parts, most brands are reliable. But one of those would be way too bulky for my pint size condo.
Then my wife’s asking why spend $300 on a new vacuum that might give you 2 years service when a used one can do the same thing for $10. This time I agree with my wife.
So we bring home the new-to-us vacuum and fire it up as we didn’t test it in the second hand store. It is a plastic, black and turquoise creation that would make a decent R2 unit on StarWars. It starts fine and vacuums well enough but there is a stench.
Being the local fixer I drop a little Essential oil on the foam air filter and Bam – no smell! For 2 minutes.
Then back to the cheesy foot smell.
Upon further investigation it becomes clear nobody- the person who donated it, the store who checked if it worked and sold it nor the customer (me:)) had cleaned the filter. It was dirty. It was packed. With gunk and other people’s dirty stuff. And once clean it worked perfectly:)
To get the most out of life keep your filter clean so the experience you have is the true, best experience in the moment.
Dirty filters mean although our eyes and ears are open, we hear how the situation impacts us as opposed to what is actually happening.
Dirty filters mean going through the motions. Dirty filters means repeating the same mistakes.
A clean filter is refreshing and is forgiveness. A clean filter is living in the moment. A clean filter is liberating your instinct. A clean filter is you when you answer your devotional life by seeking higher perception.
This higher education we can submit into daily life to improve it for ourselves, for community, tribe, for those future people who struggle with engaging humanity.
Submit it through a beautiful range of ways including: telling jokes, telling stories, inventing ceremonies, exuding love of your higher self, respect of what is foreign to you, loving and being loved.
Young men are angry young men because they have no idea about the the mechanics of the female instinct. How it works, why and what to do about it.
Your mother was right.
Your mother is right.
Because she is your mother ? Yes.
Because she is a mother? Yes.
Because she is a woman? Yes.
Because she is smart and successful and fashionable and in a loving relationship, creative and spontaneous and hilarious, sociable and admired?
Well, I don’t know your mother. Still I hope she embodies many of these qualities listed above. Any combination of these traits would help to generate ongoing satisfaction and fulfillment for her and those in her life.
The amazing challenge of motherhood tugs on the ancient history of care that have kept us alive for millennia. Many a young mother is overwhelmed with the weight of responsibility that their tiny bundle of joy represents. They have no idea what to do or what their infant needs.
Yet with the guidance of experienced mothers, a new mother can grasp the thread of maternal wisdom and connect with the natural intuition of motherhood.
Paolo Bendandi on Unsplash
Under the influence of this connection a woman finds a kaleidoscopic fountain of love powering an agility of ability to be the source of happiness and health for her child.
The instinct lives in the core of the moment. And we are invited every moment to accompany the instinct; to get instinctual. The instinct has enough potency and range to radiate beyond the core. Whether at the core or in the ripple effect of the instinct, it’s message is always valid, true and available. So it is up to our discipline and desire to follow it, trust it as opposed to second guessing.
So where we sit now is that men are alienated from their instinct? Their sensitivities have been institutionally diminished and tuned to sex, money, and lame ‘man caving’ habits.
As a result when a woman, married or not, a mother or not, professional or not insists on adhering to the connection with her instinct – men balk! Men don’t get it. But they do get angry. And violent.
Why? He pleads.
Explain it to me! He yells.
What am I missing?! He demands exasperated.
Damn good questions.
Man! You are missing a connection with your instinct. Make that connection and you can have a shared understanding of the situation with your spouse.
The learning is that women and men will maintain their connection with their instinct using complimentary techniques. Women through the management of the three aspects of The Female Friction.
Men will do it by elevating their various expressions of the famous man cave.
Angry young men are justified in being angry because they have no real rites of passage that help them mark stages in life while grasping their significance.
I remember at my confirmation the crusty, guest priest went up and down the first 2 pews in the church asking each person being confirmed what their chosen name was. Mine was Peter. The name meant nothing to me really.
Another guy had chosen Michael so the priest made some comment on the meaning of that name.
We were about 30 people to be confrmed. I think all of us were around 13 years old except for a few adults The adults chose to be there. I felt no impending transformation or need to give myself a different name. The name identifies the new you that confirms the belief in God your parents claimed at your baptism. Yet I have never used the additional name and it embodies nothing for me.
When a coming of age ceremony is conducted by someone with dignity there is a transference of the truth based struggle for self – awareness to the participants. The concept of taking on a new name is so it is an anchor for this peak moment of nervous inspiration and cellular refinement. This new name carries the authenticity of life so far combined with the courage and skills that we engage through our transformation.
Generally we have starved our sensibilities to the planet and the journey of human development. As a result the point of rites of passage is lost on most of us.
A man might project confidence, indifference or toughness but in many cases he is not in sync with the role of his soul. The soul is the bridge from child to youth, from youth to adult, from adult to elder. Each of these involves a transformation of you that is witnessed and celebrated. Witnessing allows the man to know that he is supported while he may feel lost or not know which direction to point his daily decisions. Those who support our young men know he must grow as a capable man that finds solutions not excuses. That seeks insights not openings to ridicule. That wants companionship not violence.
Just because he is angry does not justify violence against women. And just because he is lost and can’t find a good guide or mentor doesn’t justify violence against women.
Rather, his transformation into an emotionally agile man is to be celebrated so people can sense he is a unique expression of manhood and tribe.
Rites of passage can be simple. They can be ancient poems or spontaneous encouragements as long as the sentiment is to locate and appreciate the young man in the hyper–now of his life.
Rites of passage can be with just one witness or a ceremony followed by a big party.
Young men can have a conversation at 7:30 on a Tuesday with a man about life, about women and making love, about expressing the urge to love-and-be -loved, about personal religion, about posture and martial arts and The Art of War and oration and humility, about dancing, about making money and doing business and a good sense of humour, about nature spirits and healing and self respect. Any combination of those important topics can do the job of bridging the adolescent into the next stage. We as a tribe need to create these rites of life stage change. Or just connect the ceremonies we already have with a human development journey.
Part of the reality of young man anger is they don’t know what is happening to them and don’t know what to do about it.
Religion is natural.
Religion is available.
Religion is our supply chain management system for the soul.
The soul is natural.
The soul is available.
The soul is the energy manager of your life.
The soul loves your life and will never, ever abandon your life, your well being or your growth.
The soul needs you, it’s host, to provide it with experience so you have life reference. This gives your material/content to understand your intuition. With a broad range of resources to integrate your higher life into daily life you can grasp that not everything is about you. You will have perception based in the truth of the moment. About young men, about consequences and ways to deal with a situation in order to avoid conflict.
So put yourself out there. Meet people, learn stuff, try new things. Get a library card. Read a book. Read the book’s bibliography. Order a book on Amazon!
An important aspect of understanding the soul is using your habits as a foundation for growing. Habits can build and decorate what we call our comfort zone. Often it actually turns out to be a comfort zone for fear and a prison for the urge to grow.
The soul manages your habits. Feed the soul a portion of habit. And feed the soul a portion of questions that make you stretch towards what you want.
The soul is your biggest fan. It wants to know what you want and accompany you while you struggle to live out the realization of your objectives.
Your struggle for what you want for your higher life and how you insist on pursuing it is your personal religion. (Read that sentence again … slowly).
(Loop back to the top of this short article – where it talks about religion.)
Every morning I drop one or two wrinkled pods of dried cardamom into my coffee/spice grinder to grind with the coffee beans. The fine grind is flecked with the light green of the ground cardamom. I love the smell of fresh ground coffee probably more than drinking the coffee itself.
We actually just got back from an autumn weekend in a rented cabin and all my coffee paraphernalia came with us. It means we are not buying coffee that is more costly and generates waste vía cups, lids and stir sticks. Before bed we have started drinking a cinnamon/ginger brew to boost our immune system. My favourite drink during the day is a bit of fresh hibiscus tea mixed with sparkling water. Super refreshing.
Whether it is tea or coffee, cola, wine or whiskey. Coconut water, kombucha or beer. All of these are water based drinks. Some have sugar or fruit. Others are healthy. Again others fermented. Some are popular drinks because they taste good, a few for their rejuvenation factor and others are a success of marketing.
Water is to our body as oil is to the car engine. We are 70% water each of us. That kind of makes us, or our body, a bottle of water. How do we flavour our water?
Dr. Masaru Emoto pioneered the research into the consciousness of water. Based on experiments with water and music he concluded that we flavour our corporeal water with what we think, feel and do. The residue of these impressions settles in our blood, bones and organs where the water is at work. We flavour our water with life; good and bad, high and low, as a victim or author of our response to each stage of development.
But often it is the label of our human water bottle that we focus on most of the time.
We get caught up in the image so often that the ingredients, or their production, gets minimized.
We are born with 2 eyes, 10 fingers and a little hair all of us. What anchors your existence is a planetary soul. That soul gets imprinted with the genes you are going to give expression to in your daily life and give continuance to by your life journey. So those eyes might be green. Those fingers could be brown. And that hair might be black. We all have eyes, fingers and hair but we are all so different. Why?
Race, religion, culture, upbringing and education. All of these are ingredients that get integrated into your soul. It takes a strong desire and sensitivity to interpret the soul and not get distracted by the ego of the image.
What does it take to be a Sommelier of the soul? Because, if you think about it, we are flavoured water. How would the sommelier describe your soul? A hint of creativity, bold and upfront, goes great with fish? Refreshing! No bitter aftertaste:)
The Bridge connecting your emotions with your words
We all admit there are areas where we can improve. It’s painful to the ego but a dose of humility can keep many things at bay.
My wife told me I had become very militaristic in my communication with our teenage daughter. I had no idea. Of course I thought I was showing up to do my dad job by instilling good habits. Good intention with poor execution. The reality for my family was that I was now irritating; at best. And my approach would have become alienating if my wife had not mentioned it to me.
The point is to get more references/ education/ feedback/ input. These are the materials to build a bridge to cross from the ignorant side of the river to the other side. So there can be change from one reality to another – also known as growth:).
Change doesn’t make us wrong. It means we can grow. Especially for adult men this can be a bridge we don’t want to be seen crossing. Often we don’t know how to accept being wrong, or deal with feedback. Especially from our wife or children. Likewise we don’t know how to express ourselves. We don’t know how to say that we want to grow but don’t know how. We don’t know love can be expressed in words as well as actions. Small words, quiet words.
So to help to grow let’s picture a bridge that can help us cross from one perspective – our current outlook – to integrate a new mentality into our range of options. Your bridge can be made of wood and rope straddling high above the river. Or it can be an abandoned wooden railway bridge, made of massive steel beams or a beautifully designed stone bridge with arches.
This bridge spans the RiverofAccompaniment. The water of this river is soothing because it makes us feel welcomed. We are not alone when we take off our shoes to walk ankle deep in the cool, cool water. We switch from the side of loneliness to the other side various times in an hour, day, life depending on our emotional equilibrium.
One side of the river you look up and down the river bank and there is no one; at least no friendlies.
Having built and crossed your bridge to the other side you realize the river is the flourishing of you and others. The river is life. The river is what you make it.
You crossing the bridge may be an act of desperation because you feel left out and lonely. Paying attention to your spouse according to their need now has relevance to you. Or crossing the BridgeofStrength can be because you want to offer your spouse a good relationship.
The challenge here is manifold. However the response is singular: build a bridge through belief in action.
It’s your bridge. Build it as you wish so that others can experience the best of you. So your family can benefit from your accumulated wisdom from a history of accomplishments. Which is what you want too.
Build your bridge because you want to understand and accompany your spouse with respect. Even if you don’t really know what you are doing (be that on the dance floor or in bed or at an awkward social gathering or talking about your marriage or stages in life). But there you are looking good and participating.
It’s you leading – laterally. Which moves your marriage forward – simply in a sideways spiral – meaning you won’t be alone.