Death is an inevitable part of our mortal lives. Though the average life expectancy of all known animals may vary from a few seconds to hundreds of years, at the end of their lives, all animals meet death. However, what happens after death is one of the world’s greatest mysteries. Whether it be a life […]Week 9: Life after Death – The Science of Heaven, Hell, Soul and Reincarnation — Sri Lankan Physicist
In addition to her Foundation for AIDS and more than 40 movies plus television shows, the generational movie star Liz Taylor squeezed in 8 marriages from 7 husbands. This shows Liz Taylor was into recycling before most people on your block.
In her personal life Liz Taylor sought what her heart petitioned. To love and be loved; to receive and be received. In a personal relationship Ms. Taylor offered insecurity (when you are a good friend of Michael Jackson your life currency includes high frequency ego) and warmth. In a man she sought not only romance but a source of stability. She had a need which she felt would be satisfied by a solid relationship. Taylor wanted a marriage strong enough to support her as a woman yet flexible enough to be able to handle the whims and intrusions of Hollywood.
In the classic movie Cat On A Hot Tin Roof Taylor plays the empathetic yet tempestuous wife to Paul Newman as her failing husband. The 1958 movie could have been called ‘Lost and Found’. Newman’s character Brick Pollitt was lost in life and Taylor’s Maggie desperately wanted him found in her life; in her heart.
What you seek is almost certainly available in the person you seek it in. Ms Taylor probably found some of what she was seeking in Richard (twice) at some point, Conrad, Mike and Michael. After the proverbial honeymoon was over they may or may not have wanted to offer it up to her. Once she felt her man couldn’t, or wouldn’t, offer Liz what she wanted then she needed to look for it elsewhere. In one of her marriages it was only a matter of months before Taylor’s marriage had become unfulfilling . Although it makes sense that when the love is gone then why stay married, but it would be costly in divorce lawyers.
Maybe Liz didn’t know how to ask to be loved the way she wanted to be loved. Maybe the men she chose weren’t up to the job. A few of her relationships definitely were complicated by drugs and alcohol.
Unfortunately a common conundrum for a man is not knowing how to love his wife. He wants to but can’t understand what expression that takes. Love gets contorted by our handling of the emotional unpacking of our inner lives, life stages and development urges, professional success, physical health. So it is easy to understand how two confused adults can fail in a relationship. Especially if they had no guidance from their parents.
Without simple yet deep conversation sprinkled with wisdom we end up with men who are in fact lost with no idea what they seek and what they offer. That is frustrating for everyone. And can be dangerous because the man can think anytime he is being asked to do something it is because he has done something wrong. Which is incorrect. He is being asked because it is his responsibility to participate in a relationship and family.
Also, if he is being asked it says he is capable and can be relied upon based on what he offers as a man. We get this good reputation by doing a lot of small things, day after day. This repetitive signal that upholds our marriage is a practical way to seek love. As we grow and learn we can refine our seeking. Refining our seeking means that we use our experience and intuition to know where, when and how to seek. It means that our spouse can feel that embedded in our seeking is an offering of love and support for her as a woman.
What you seek can be found in what you offer. It’s almost like saying you already have what you seek – you just want it reflected back to you. And is reflected back to but just like in a mirror, it is reversed and is based on what your spouse seeks. You seek honesty and so your spouse delivers the truth; you seek happiness and your spouse offers laughter; you seek companionship and your spouse offers you conversation.
If you don’t get what you seek then perhaps before pointing a finger it is to ask if it is clear to you what you seek and offer. That can be as simple as writing it down on a piece of paper: 3 things you seek in your relationship and 3 things you offer to your relationship. Is one contingent upon the other? Yes and no. It isn’t tit for tat at the moment. We all have to put up with our spouse in the bad days and relish the good days. And they provide you the same service. However a living relationship needs the give and take of seek and offer to have a flow between both people that continue to define and refine their mechanism for loving and being loved.
By persisting in what you offer to your wife, offering her safety and your sentiment for her happiness, it will help define what you seek. Meaning you know what you want as a man and as a husband that is valid unto itself while at the same time strengthening the marriage. This requires understanding what satisfies you as a man and making yourself responsible for it. This involves learning what fulfills your spouse and supporting her in that endeavour. You seek being loved and someone to love.
Obviously not at all costs. With dignity for the person and their stage in life.
some good wisdom from the trees for all of us
Entering the aura of a tree is felt like entering an invisible chamber of deep peace. In their vicinity, the silence from beyond is absorbed within, touching the deepest center of our being. It’s a calming, smoothing experience that dwells us in instant well-being, raising our vibration and expanding our awareness towards a higher state of being. I just love to pass by a tree (even if in the city) and to feel their embrace of silence and peace. They naturally draw my attention (even when I am distracted), calling me silently into the spiritual essence of/in All-that-is.
Within their aura, we can hear their stories, their messages and their wisdom. In their intimate space, we can feel the sacredness residing within. In their presence, we are reminded of our greatness and the greatness of all life. Trees are great teachers and special friends for our spiritual journey. They have…
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Once again – effortlessly – you breathe. Like you do every day. Now, imagine the clean air entering your lungs. That automatic yet unique breath is integrated into your blood. The agent of integration is the service provided by the alveoli.
The air of your inhale could be the gritty, carbonated exhaust of a transport truck. Or the air flavoured by a bone shaking thunder storm. Or the air fragranced by a beautiful autumn morning as the leaves just pass into the realm of decomposition, releasing a haunting fermented gas that encapsulates the summation of summer and a preparation for what’s to come.
Passing though the lungs that ruby red, freshly oxygenated blood is drawn to the heart where it is pumped throughout your body. The blood circulates up into your brain, fuels your organs, reaches into your limbs. This constantly rejuvenating process brings whats new and removes what has been carbonated.
This is an amazing natural process happening everyday all day with accuracy and punctuality according to your body’s need. It makes it possible to run for the bus, walk to the store, dance with your wife. You think about whether there will be a seat available on the bus, what you are going to buy at the store and your dance steps. You don’t think about oxygenating your blood.
However you can think about what message you want to accompany the oxygen as it travels in your body?
Your message can be you embracing the moment, and inhaling the feeling of well being you want to attract. Your message can be a more specific quality like compassion or persistence. It is the energy that our mind connects to when you focus on the idea of persistence that will fill your aura. That energy will permeate anything that absorbs energy if your focus has stamina.
Focus on your next breath; inhale the idea of service.
Breathe in through your nose … and be clear that you want service in your life. That service is a quality you want to radiate. Service is a quality that resonates with your blood cells. After being created in the marrow of your bones they pass into your bloodstream. The cells merge with all the other cells on the mission. The mission is your well being. Each cell is a new recruit in the battalion of your blood ready and willing to be of service.
Blood cells live a number of months. Compared to your blood cells you are immortal. And their purpose is exactly that: your immortality.
There is a heritage of knowledge passed on from’old’ cells to the fresh ones. The brand newest of cells are reasserting your well being and ready to receive the human ancestral wisdom that you subscribe to. Recognize the alignment of millions upon millions of cells that uphold your human facilities so you can become a university of thoughts, insights and mental projections. Breathe in service so it too gets magically synthesized with the oxygen into your blood. Imagine those blood cells pumped around your body – radiating service.
To highlight the reality of the ongoing stupidity of hazings that still occur in university fraternities and sororities there is a new TV program just released.
Dying to Belong is the name of the program. And it hits the nail on the head. We all want to belong but humiliating people and endangering their lives to generate a sense of exclusivity is juvenile.
Hazing is defined as the imposition of strenuous, often humiliating, tasks as part of a program of rigorous physical training and initiation. So the greater the humiliation then the club you are being initiated into should be that much more exclusive. Or provide a transcendent feeling of belonging. I am not sure that university frats get to that level of, well fraternity. Basically it is supposed to earn you a loyalty towards you when you need it. And your loyalty to your fraternity will be asked for when it is needed. In the meantime you have the status of saying you belong to this or that frat.
The thing is people die in these hazings that new recruits or pledges are submitted to. Why? Why does it have to dip to a level of life threatening humiliation?
To belong to the Jeep driver’s club all you need is to make a down payment of a few thousand dollars to buy your Jeep Wrangler and then keep up with your monthly payments. And as a result every time another Jeep drives in the opposite direction you get a cool and subtle wave as you drive by each other in your Jeeps. It’s silly. But it provides a sense of inclusion/acceptance/belonging in and among all the random traffic. And it is warming not demoralizing. It is simple not nefarious.
Initiation is the process of crossing the threshold into the next stage of life. And in some cultures they can be extremely demanding rite of passage like a vision quest. Or it can be a celebration like a bar mitzvah.
The idea of initiation is to create a mark that a person is entering into a new possibility in their life. Witness it. Make the ceremony and the person being initiated important. Generate in them the concept of upholding their dignity as they pass from child to young adult; or from adult to elder. So when we cross the threshold of death, from elder to ether, we have had practice knowing how to cross into the next realm and what is of value there.
While initiation helps the same person elevate in their development trajectory a distinct aspect of their life is being accessed in this new platform for life that encourages curiosity and perception.
If you are not religious then recognition of the next life stage might not be so ceremonious. It can be conversations to show appreciation of the person for what they have become up to now based on their challenges and opportunities. Appreciation coupled with respect for their version of responsibility as they grow. Reminding them to harvest from their past the milestones won by the vigour of their youth. Merging these lessons with the awareness being petitioned of each person to grow into the unknown.
Are you afraid of aging or is something else involved? A rich exploration into aging well.Unveiling :: Thoughts of aging have you tied in knots? — STEPHANIE NOBLE
Halloween in the haunted woodWhat We See In The Woods — Shuckleigh Chronicles
The message is simple – the execution not so much.
Robert Downey Jr. is Peter Highman in the 2010 movie Due Date. He ends up in a car travelling with the ideosyncratic Ethan Tremblay played by Zach Galifiniakis.
The movie is painfully hilarious. It showcases the talent of both Downey and Galifinakis. I imagine the director Todd Philips gave them a clear idea of where he each scene needed to get to and then let the actors loose.
Downey has had a very successful acting career becoming well known for the Iron Man trilogy. It feels good to see him accepting he is so talented and sharing those talents. It feels even better knowing he had to get over some pretty serious addiction issues at a young age. After being in and out of prison as a result of his reckless lifestyle he finally was able to rehab himself and re-construct his life and career.
No doubt he had to ask forgiveness from his wife and of himself.
As highlighted in the book Satisfaction (link below) an effective way to forgive, yourself or others, is to move on. To have something better to do than regret the past. To connect to some task that is stronger than the pull of bitterness from feeling hard done by. To rise above the inability for personal growth in the moment and accept that we can always be growing.
A very concise and effective mindset to participate in writing your own story is the Sistem Mindset.
Quite simply it is: Resist – Insist – Persist.
Resist the lower levels of life that want to rob you of your energy. That means resist pettiness, revenge, grudges, assumptions.
Insist on dignity. Yours. Theirs. Of a man. Of a woman. That means asking questions to understand why. This is coupled with finding a way to be understood for what you want.
Persist in growing. Grow as a man, as a family member, as a professional, as a human. This means knowing your focus is valuable (which is why Facebook/Google make so much money off their ads) and put it where it gives you a fulfilling result. Persist daily in your morning routine. Wonder out loud what is possible – you never know what your wife or children might have in mind. Read a book you already read to see what you didn’t grasp the first time; investigate on line classes, minimize something from your diet you know isn’t good for you and introduce a new vegetable you haven’t tried before.
Who knows what these three pronged Sistem might cause in your life.
The thing is the more we Persist in growing the easier it can be to Insist and Resist.
Link for the book Satisfaction: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1777691109