Man Cave


Man cave.

What is in it?  Cozy?  Messy?  Big enough just for one?  Does it have 2 wheels?

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Where is it?  Does anyone else even know it exists?  What do you do there (besides whatever you want)?  Is it social or for healing?  Do you connect your today with the previous and future you?

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How does it relate to your comfort zone? Is it an escape or reinforcement?
Is life for doing and your cave for being?  is it the shed out back, a canoe from your teenage years,  yoga, the barbecue (in January!)?

Can you make your man cave mobile so you never have to retreat from life or your marriage? So you can stay and figure things out through conversation.

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If you have a Man Cave that helps you regroup for a better tomorrow does that make you a cave man?


What does a man marry?

The wedding is just one day.  Vows, wedding dress, toasts, food, speeches, slideshow, dancing, relatives, a childhood friend, a colleague.

The actual marriage is when we marry ourselves with our spouse the rest of our marriage. Without being in any way unfaithful, a man actually marries varied forces on a constant basis to offer his wife on a constant basis for her to use as needed.

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How does he marry forces?

Using his vibrant power –

– using his capabilities to help, to lead and get satisfaction.

A man loves to accompany others in their success and be accompanied in theirs.

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What does he need to do this?:

A man needs a direction to shine his light as a man, a husband.

A man needs a higher purpose to rise above daily whims and challenges.


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What is a man’s reality from which to do all this?

It is a mans challenge to combine his abilities and responsibilities in a manner that he can learn from the experience and for the experience to be beneficial for everyone impacted.

Where does he find the internal leverage to receive his reality and improve it in some small way ?

A man is emotionally agile with ready resources that enable him to respond to life with spontaneity not violence.

Said another way:

A man is responsible to keep the embers hot in the fire for life through admiration of others, curiosity and resilience.

Taken to another level – 

Men need to foster their intrinsic male sensitivity.   This is done by marrying this man-fire with their answer to the urge to maintain and strengthen their energetic connections with the higher forces of growth.

Repeat when possible.

Share as you wish.

Memory Games

My dad’s 83 year old mind needs exercise. Yes he reads the actual paper, organizes his stuff and has a few phone calls in his day but other than that not much stimulation. My mom keeps their apartment in order, cooks and pays their bills.

So in order to keep his mind agile my mom has put a memory game out on the table for us to play. There are colourful disks with cartoon drawings of dolphins and cactus, beach ball and clown. A child’s memory game. It’s pattern recognition 101: Finding the matching image.


Photo by Cody Doherty on Unsplash

AI is pattern recognition that is so thorough it sucks the life out anything it is set upon. Specifically as we know: jobs.

Artificial intelligence is making many jobs obsolete while creating a handful of others. The loss and gain of jobs in itself is actually a pattern of industry ebb and flow as we have witnessed over the years. This as always will close some doors while opening others. However the real threat of AI is more the lives behind the loss of jobs than its impact on the economy.

There could well be the arrival one day of a pervading reality when many a man will wake up each morning feeling empty. Empty because someone steals your ability and drive to get stuff done!

Normally when your mind is deliciously challenged by life and work you wake up without an alarm in the mornings; perception loves you and you solve problems with alacrity. These life challenges can also cause stress. Hopefully it is more the kind of stress of finding solutions than the stress of not being able to locate ones resources for success.

This intertwining of success and struggles is what helps form our identity.


Photo by Christian Burri on Unsplash

So a man loses his sense of meaning when he wakes up and does not attack the day. Instead of him projecting himself into the new day – he stagnates. This is dangerous. This creates angry, fragile, insecure men. These men can easily become vehicles of violence. Especially using women as their physical or emotional punching bags.

So. To the authors of AI who design and manufacture your remarkable robots. To you who add an AI start up to your investment portfolio – do your homework. Be the person who accounts for the fallout. Be the man that the military should be before they send their sons and daughters to war. Know what you are asking the soul of your people to do. Bypassing your instinct and ignoring this need for meaning in daily life is irresponsible, rude and damaging.

You have the knowledge of the consequences of your actions. Your decisions are a reflection of your grasp of the beauty of human life and your response to the fragility that can undermine it.

And of course there is Another AI. The Authentic Intelligence. In other words the human based pattern recognition system called the soul…?! It’s an excellent investment. Perhaps the 2 AI systems can work hand in hand.

Make important things important!


Somehow with all the apps that are designed for convenience, for example a parking app to find an available street parking spot in the surrounding 6 blocks,  life seems to be more complicated now than ever before.  And if we continually tell ourselves this then it actually becomes true.  One of those temporary truths – but at least true for us in the moment.  Some of these truths are so temporary they actually never were true in the first place because they were fake news.  The source of these momentary truths is social media always tugging at your sleeve.  And there is also your phone constantly nudging you to steal your energy.  There is always something popping up.  If we are to get stuff done and learn or grow we need to resist the phone/internet/social media tentacles.  Resistance is not futile- Resistance is CRUCIAL!  Resist the fleeting to accept and digest you in the moment.

We can resist anything by making something more important.  So take the time to have a short mental list at the ready for you to use as resistance.  A list of things that are more important than checking your Facebook again.  Important things have more energetic leverage.  Make important things more important.

If we don’t they often find a way of making themselves more important.  Like our health.  If we fill ourselves with convenient food then after a number of years our heart will start screaming.  Those heart screams are called a heart attack.   Your body made your life stop and focus on keeping you alive.  Then things like exercise and a good diet raise in importance and help us resist unhealthy habits.


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Before things get to heart scream stage it is good to develop over time a process of crystallizing your thoughts about what is important to you.  Things like your love of self whatever in the world that means.  If you repeat it without being interrupted by your phone then you receive some ideas.  Give it some time, some focus, some repetition.  You have to build resistance – so you have to repeat yourself – your petition for self love.

Make a list in your notes on your phone.  Or on a recycled piece of paper to stuff in your wallet.  These are the thing that take us from handling temporary truths to dwelling on permanent truths:

  1.  The solidarity with my soul to always find a way to grow forward and stay intact.
  2.  Your love of the healing power of nature.
  3.  Your growing belief in your life purpose.