FF1 -What is it?

 

wan-chen-F_6tLMAwdQI-unsplash                Photo by Wan Chen on Unsplash

A few days ago I came home with some flowers for my wife.  I got them in the supermarket across the street.  The prices are generally good for the bouquets of Iris she likes.  When I walk into our condo she lights up when she sees the triangular paper shape of the wrapped up flowers.  My daughter chimes in ‘Oh, are those for me …?’  She knows the answer.  She gets flowers on birthdays.  My wife gets them because she is my wife.  A cold overcast January day is a fabulous day for flowers.  Even though they are not for my daughter she gets over her feigned disappointment and unwraps them and points out they are a little damaged.  Broken stem.  No big deal.  They still will bring life, colour and fragrance into our home.

The thing is, this has happened before: damaged flowers.  Now it could have been in transit as the flowers likely came from California or Niagara.  However, when I have bought flowers the woman wrapping them has treated them poorly, brusquely, for no apparent reason.  It hasn’t happened often.  But it makes me wonder.  Everyone has bad days; doesn’t feel well; is underpaid and needs to let it out.

Other times it is the Female Frixion.  It gets the better of them.

The Female Frixion is a natural urge that makes sense to women.   This urge creates a friction between the three roles of women: Professional, Maternal, Romantic.  Men, for their part, have: Professional, Paternal, Adventurer.

Each of those role loves its own flow and rising above the rasping of the roles.  Women feel the fulfillment that goes by responding with vigour to life.  When the fulfillment wanes the Female Frixion intensifies.

Perhaps the Female Frixion exists because as a society we don’t understand how a woman is configured.   Speaking as a man about the education a man receives about a woman – we have no idea about the emotional engineering of a woman.

Then again this tug of war between the roles may have nothing to do with the configuration of a woman.  This urge that pushes a woman in such a way may stem from a society that is not aligned to the nature of a woman.  Something to be pondered…

 

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Photo by Alexander Scott Lambley on Unsplash

 

This Female Frixion is at the nexus of the three roles; again those being professional, romantic and maternal.  This internal conflict does not mean there is something wrong.  The fact of the Female Frixion never implies or says men are better.  Men would do very well to pay attention to the women in their life as they adjust and jump, or not, in response to the demands of the roles.  Men can learn about being in connection with their instinct and how to be fluent in their emotional agility.

 

Sacred Book

Fey Marin on Unsplash

If your sacred book is the Torah – try reading the Koran. You will encounter a few friends.

If your sacred book is the Buddhist Sutra then take a look at the Bible. Find how the connective power of a living prayer can enhance a meditation.

If your sacred book is The I Ching what can you learn from The Upanishad? The variety of of life expresses a higher love that empowers us with positivity and guidance.

If your sacred book has become the Wall Street Journal then make a detour into the park. Take the time to try reading the bark of a red pine with your hands.

Jim Carroll

If Facebook is your bible leave your phone at home and walk with a friend in the dusk.

Caleb George on Unsplash

If the story in your sacred book is being filled with pages of habits and assumptions about what other people think then stop. Turn to a fresh page.

Find a way to elevate. For example: Breathe, smile, get amazed by an Olympic athlete, share something awesome about a medical innovation, get out in nature early one day, put down the phone and love the fact of the small node on the top of your heart that sends the electrical signal that makes it beat. Pretty cool.

Life sustaining cool.

Sacred cool.

Sacred book.

Your book.

Female Frixion

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Photo by Becca McHaffie on Unsplash

 

10 Points about living with Female Frixion.

What?

  • A natural feeling in women caused by the Maternal/Professional/Adventure roles
  • The roles are jousting for: expression, attention, priority, love, recognition …
  • It’s not a social measurement of having: career, children, relationship.

 

Natural Friction?

  • There is nothing wrong with you
  • There is no one to blame: you, mother, partner, school
  • Doesn’t make you better or worse, a martyr 

 

Stages in Life

  • Female, Woman, Lady
  • Childhood, youth, young adult, adult, middle age, elder
  • Mid-Life _____________

 

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Justin Follis on Unsplash

 

Unisex?

  • No
  • Not the same in all women
  • Not the same in you day to day

 

Direct Communication

  • Grasp the naturalness of it
  • 3 for 1
  • Find your way to share the truth of it

 

Satisfaction and Fulfillment

  • Emotional Process  – Emotional Checklist
  • Love is offering fulfillment through satisfaction
  • Feed the triplets

 

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Photo by rahmani KRESNA on Unsplash

Men

  • Men don’t know this
  • Men can’t fix it, but they can …
  • Communicate understanding by being agile

 

Instinct

  • Petitions a greater instinct response
  • At work there is confusion, doubt
  • Is undeniable:  The Emotional Watershed

 

Appreciation

  • Not a lever in a poor relationship
  • Reflection of your range
  • Understanding your mother and providing that for children

 

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Photo by Bewakoof.com Official on Unsplash

 

Communicate

  • Discover the awareness and readiness of others
  • Learn how to improve its management
  • Share your experience, %

 

 

 

 

 

 

Prayer To The Nature Spirits

 

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Photo by Ilya Orehov on Unsplash

The snow is falling as you would expect on an early Saturday morning – with beautiful confidence but in no hurry.  The temperature was around zero and the sun was coming up on the other side of the lake so my dreamy snowflakes won’t last long.  The lake felt pretty dam cold if you put your hand in there.  The air was so clean I couldn’t even find a smell.  The night was still intact along the pebble beach.  A few pieces of plastic and water-ground glass.  Even a few embers glowed in the smoky bonfire from the night before.

From nature we get refreshed and refilled with energy and clarity of vision.

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Photo by Arnaud Mariat on Unsplash

Breathing in  … we welcome into our lives, into our body, nature.  So, with wonder, we want to be friends with you –  the nature spirits.  So, nature spirits, a message   …

Your loyalty to yourself and service to planet Earth is admirable.   Elusive to my mind is how your brilliance happens but my soul knows that accompanying you spirits, in the moment, will grace me, anyone, with your residue.

The clean way of your work is a theatre of the future overflowing with enthusiasm into today.

The gentleness of your attendance to all of us, the variety of persons we are, is appreciated. Picture: The old oak leaning over the path; the littlest rapids bubbling over the rapids in the creek; the wind’s choreographing the canopy dance of maple and elm trunks with birch and spruce branches; the fragrant minerals of mud absorbing fallen autumn leaves – We love how your agility to anchor yourself in any part of nature without judgement enhances wherever you anchor.

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Photo by Alex Dukhanov on Unsplash

Nature … is the melody of the planet’s song.  The fairies, gnomes, salamanders, sparks and sparkles of light quick, quickly are the libretto.  We feel your harmony of this song in the moment, in the place: the lapping waves on the short pebble beach, the creaking tree limbs loving the yoga of gusty winds; or, inside the minute magnificence of ongoing photosynthesis putting to use the energy of the day.

WITBOY4 – High Heals

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Photo by Sarah Cervantes on Unsplash

I saw a documentary years ago about women boxers.

Some women who go to the gym and learn to punch for self protection.  There are those women who are professional boxers that live and train to fight.

And then there were the women that were the focus of this film. They are mothers and wives who have a full life and a full time job.  And they box. They get into it for personal motivations that are part of their story.

I remember the single mother, let’s call her Suzie, being interviewed as she put her kit in the back of the car. Late 30’s, 2 children, at least 1 ex-husband, very cheerful. And she hits other women. For exercise!

I can imagine that it functions as therapy. So can shopping. And unless it is Black Friday nobody hits anyone.

So the stress release involved in boxing that Suzie feels is quite clear to see. The training required puts her into great shape. The adrenaline and associated hormones of landing a nice right hook help to feed part of her female life. So actually there is a lot of upside. As long as you don’t get knocked out.

Is that it? What else does she get out of it?

Doesn’t her body pay a price? They do have to wear protective head gear etc. Doesn’t it hurt? Yes. And without being sadistic, that’s part of the motivation. Part.

When you get hurt your body takes over the healing process. Without delay or excuses, with precision and efficiency: It is how the human body loves.

Even between rounds the body of a boxer starts to heal.  Healing is miraculous and beautiful. And it feels good.

Suzie wants to feel good. Remember she is cheerful. With all of life’s challenges she has turned out to be a happy, middle-aged single mom (who you don’t want to fight over a parking spot):)

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Photo by Sarah Cervantes on Unsplash

 

When healing the white blood cells protect a wound from infection. They also produce chemical messengers called growth factors that help repair wounds.

Dopamine helps regulate new blood vessel creation in the healing process of skin wounds. More wounds = more dopamine.  Dopamine is a chemical in the brain that causes you to feel good.

Natural ways to generate dopamine are: exercise, meditation, sleep and certain foods to name a few.  Destructive ways to generate dopamine are: alcohol , drugs and related poor lifestyle habits.

Dopamine can help us heal and also be a factor in cementing a habit.  Whatever that habit might be: Smoking, drinking, boxing or getting hit by your boyfriend.

The hitting part hurts your face and damages your self esteem but the dopamine connects the whole process with getting better.  So some people end up using cocaine to get the dopamine.

Some women don’t leave the violent boyfriend so they can get hit again to get the feel good of healing dopamine.

Here is a crazy idea – that part of the difficulty of women to leave an abusive relationship is because, mixed up with their level of self respect, they kind of want the next fix of a neurotransmitter released in the healing process?

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Photo by Chris Ensey on Unsplash

Healing feels good. As it should – with all the goodies the body is generating. Don’t make healing from violence your source of feel good.

Instead …

Find something that pulls you up into Your Best Ego. Could be dancing, cooking, organizing, being a good mother, forgiving, inviting someone, highlighting someone else’s good trait in a difficult situation or having a connection moment with nature. Your Best Ego is you choosing for yourself how to live. Your Best Ego includes people that bring respect. Your Best Ego is at a level of energy that generates healthy sources of happiness. Your Best Ego seeks value to keep growing.

Be like your body and bring the growth factor; be the growth factor.

High heals.

It is true.

Is it true for you?

WITBOY3 – Find A Way

Adam Birkett on Unsplash

Finding a way to improve my intention is a priority

Vacuums are frustrating. Especially if you don’t like to clean. And aren’t mechanically inclined.

And hate to admitting you are cheap.

The industrial vacuums can do a good job and last a while if taken care of. Even though they too have designed obsolescence (of about 1 year of regular use) and cheap plastic parts, most brands are reliable. But one of those would be way too bulky for my pint size condo.

Then my wife’s asking why spend $300 on a new vacuum that might give you 2 years service when a used one can do the same thing for $10. This time I agree with my wife.

So we bring home the new-to-us vacuum and fire it up as we didn’t test it in the second hand store. It is a plastic, black and turquoise creation that would make a decent R2 unit on StarWars. It starts fine and vacuums well enough but there is a stench.

Being the local fixer I drop a little Essential oil on the foam air filter and Bam – no smell! For 2 minutes.

Then back to the cheesy foot smell.

Upon further investigation it becomes clear nobody- the person who donated it, the store who checked if it worked and sold it nor the customer (me:)) had cleaned the filter. It was dirty. It was packed. With gunk and other people’s dirty stuff. And once clean it worked perfectly:)

To get the most out of life keep your filter clean so the experience you have is the true, best experience in the moment.

Kayle Kaupanger on Unsplash

Dirty filters mean although our eyes and ears are open, we hear how the situation impacts us as opposed to what is actually happening.

Dirty filters mean going through the motions. Dirty filters means repeating the same mistakes.

A clean filter is refreshing and is forgiveness. A clean filter is living in the moment. A clean filter is liberating your instinct. A clean filter is you when you answer your devotional life by seeking higher perception.

This higher education we can submit into daily life to improve it for ourselves, for community, tribe, for those future people who struggle with engaging humanity.

Submit it through a beautiful range of ways including: telling jokes, telling stories, inventing ceremonies, exuding love of your higher self, respect of what is foreign to you, loving and being loved.

WITBOY2 – Standards Are Important

Kurt Vonnegut advised to ‘Start as close as close to the end as possible’.

The American writer had 8 Rules For Writing. Gems of guidance for creating an interesting story. The above is #5.

Kurt Vonnegut’s 8 Rules for Writing

Vonnegut’s writing put humanity on display – and it often wasn’t pretty.

Perhaps he was lazy. The closer you start to the end – the shorter the journey so the less you need to write. Perhaps starting close to the end is a story design method so the writer stays true to the intention of the story.

Jessica da Rosa on Unsplash

Each conversation is a story. Even if that conversation in a dark 30 seconds on a downtown street is between strangers, full of swearing, worrisome and in full public view. What happened was this big and tall guy darted in front of two walking women (mother and daughter) and ‘BOO!!’ he yells out of nowhere. The daughter screams back; her mother said don’t. Daughter pursued him down the sidewalk to share her fright but he wasn’t interested. He already got what he wanted and wasn’t about to listen. His sudden scare manoeuvre works to steal some good energy. In this case: Female energy; high potency anger energy; the beautiful energy of being the focus of the ‘conversation’. All of this makes him feel important and makes up for a lack of relationship in his life.

Dirty business tactics on his part. The business of energy management –

we are all in the same business of energy: give and take, diminish and elevate.

The big, tall guy on the dark, downtown street was using guerrilla tactics. And he started quite close to the end of the intention of his story – which was to steal good energy. It only took him seconds. End of story. For him.

Does that mean he is good at what he does; steal? Or that he has no art? No energy art.

What about the others in the conversation?

Priscilla du Preez on Unsplash

Still recovering from the disturbing encounter the mother was coaching her adult daughter as they resumed their journey. The residue on the daughter from the experience is anger. Next time ‘listen to your mother’.

And if her mother isn’t there next time then the daughter would do well to activate her strength of resistance. Meaning make the continuance of her life ( like the walking conversation with her mother) more important than a grown man who is blind to his own value (due to self esteem or illness).

Resist the low. Adhere to the high. You are important.  Standards are important.

Puerro Battistoni on Unsplash

So, tonight when you lay your head down – wonder – ‘what is true because of you?’

What do you want to be true because of you? This is like Vonnegut telling his students to start as close to the end as possible. If you have a good day what is the energetic residue? If you have a bad day, what is the energetic residue? If you are alone? If you are accompanied?

Close your eyes and know:

Because of you there is a marriage with a sense of loving and being loved;

Because of you a woman has no fear of violence in her marriage.

Because of you a colleague knows they are valued.

Because of you nature spirits flourish.

Because of you …

Life will jump in front of you and scream ‘BOO!’ now and again. When it does, resist the low. Maintain your standards that seek the good.