FF3 – Emotional Accoustics

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Emotional Acoustics

Rodrigo yelled.

‘Hey! Leave me alone.’

Then came the answer. Rodrigo was 8 and yelling into the valley.

Hey leave me alone – the valley copies him.

Don’t copy me!!- Rodrigo yells and turns his back on the valley. He’s a funny, smart 8.

2 long seconds later –

Don’t copy me.

Amazing fealty for an echo. It is Instagram before Instagram: a brief recording of the moment and then it is gone. I guess it’s a combination of the low valley architecture furnished in green with pine trees and sloping hills.

We caught on to what Rodrigo was doing – it gave us a good laugh.

Xavier Van Erlach on Unsplash

The power of our echo is amazing. The impact the rebounding of our words and actions have in the lives of others.

This duration and the degree of the echo are always a product of one’s emotions.

The more invested we are in the other person the greater the duration of the echo. That can work both ways.

Combine that with the intention of the person plus the context and the echo could provide an uplifting harmony or a deafening noise puke.

Why?

We, men and women, are governed by the need of being loved and loving someone else.

How do the results of the Female Frixion rebound off the walls of love of her spouse? It is the acoustics of his sense of value for himself. That value can be anchored in his family, in how he takes care of his tools, his income, what people think of his wife. His value can also be self generated – so that way it is associated with higher connection (in contrast to external value that is dependent upon likeability). His self value in conjunction with his male instinct determine the harmonies he hears between the 3 roles of his wife.

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So when communicating the Female Frixion to her partner she will will feel received, understood and appreciated. Or if the man doesn’t grasp the concept of Female Frixion, the woman eddies in the river of communication, then he will substitute something else as his understanding of her message although it is inaccurate. And that will be the basis of his decision making about her from then on. Commonly labeled: happy wife – happy life. Or it can get adversarial between people and the Female Frixion is cemented as a 3 headed monster that is apparently the source of all marital issues.

Or with self-Love in both people it can be cultivated into

A tricycle of love.

There are no short cuts between you and the truth. Whether that be you and not feeling alone (short cut is to find someone not your wife);

Feeling disconnected with manhood in midlife (short cuts include but not limited to, drugs/alcohol).

Feeling loved and loving. (Short cuts too many to list but they all boil down to abandoning yourself as a man.) You have to do the work.

You can be smart about what you are struggling with. This means elevate your emotional agility to attract perception about how to struggle better, struggle happy, struggle together.

WITBOY4 – High Heals

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Photo by Sarah Cervantes on Unsplash

I saw a documentary years ago about women boxers.

Some women who go to the gym and learn to punch for self protection.  There are those women who are professional boxers that live and train to fight.

And then there were the women that were the focus of this film. They are mothers and wives who have a full life and a full time job.  And they box. They get into it for personal motivations that are part of their story.

I remember the single mother, let’s call her Suzie, being interviewed as she put her kit in the back of the car. Late 30’s, 2 children, at least 1 ex-husband, very cheerful. And she hits other women. For exercise!

I can imagine that it functions as therapy. So can shopping. And unless it is Black Friday nobody hits anyone.

So the stress release involved in boxing that Suzie feels is quite clear to see. The training required puts her into great shape. The adrenaline and associated hormones of landing a nice right hook help to feed part of her female life. So actually there is a lot of upside. As long as you don’t get knocked out.

Is that it? What else does she get out of it?

Doesn’t her body pay a price? They do have to wear protective head gear etc. Doesn’t it hurt? Yes. And without being sadistic, that’s part of the motivation. Part.

When you get hurt your body takes over the healing process. Without delay or excuses, with precision and efficiency: It is how the human body loves.

Even between rounds the body of a boxer starts to heal.  Healing is miraculous and beautiful. And it feels good.

Suzie wants to feel good. Remember she is cheerful. With all of life’s challenges she has turned out to be a happy, middle-aged single mom (who you don’t want to fight over a parking spot):)

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Photo by Sarah Cervantes on Unsplash

 

When healing the white blood cells protect a wound from infection. They also produce chemical messengers called growth factors that help repair wounds.

Dopamine helps regulate new blood vessel creation in the healing process of skin wounds. More wounds = more dopamine.  Dopamine is a chemical in the brain that causes you to feel good.

Natural ways to generate dopamine are: exercise, meditation, sleep and certain foods to name a few.  Destructive ways to generate dopamine are: alcohol , drugs and related poor lifestyle habits.

Dopamine can help us heal and also be a factor in cementing a habit.  Whatever that habit might be: Smoking, drinking, boxing or getting hit by your boyfriend.

The hitting part hurts your face and damages your self esteem but the dopamine connects the whole process with getting better.  So some people end up using cocaine to get the dopamine.

Some women don’t leave the violent boyfriend so they can get hit again to get the feel good of healing dopamine.

Here is a crazy idea – that part of the difficulty of women to leave an abusive relationship is because, mixed up with their level of self respect, they kind of want the next fix of a neurotransmitter released in the healing process?

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Photo by Chris Ensey on Unsplash

Healing feels good. As it should – with all the goodies the body is generating. Don’t make healing from violence your source of feel good.

Instead …

Find something that pulls you up into Your Best Ego. Could be dancing, cooking, organizing, being a good mother, forgiving, inviting someone, highlighting someone else’s good trait in a difficult situation or having a connection moment with nature. Your Best Ego is you choosing for yourself how to live. Your Best Ego includes people that bring respect. Your Best Ego is at a level of energy that generates healthy sources of happiness. Your Best Ego seeks value to keep growing.

Be like your body and bring the growth factor; be the growth factor.

High heals.

It is true.

Is it true for you?

Shaking at the side of my bed

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I was shaking  – or rather I was being shaken.  I was shook like never before.

 

I was on my knees with my head on my bed in search of a position where my body didn’t seem to vibrate me out of sanity.  It was amazing!  Don’t get me wrong – I am am not a hypochondriac nor a sadist.  I don’t look for ways to be sick.  The thing is it is increasingly amazing to me how the human body responds to illness, hostile bacteria and unsympathetic viruses.

So I am so glad that my body fights back.  Yes the experience is anywhere from a hassle of a few days to weeks of cough/vomit sessions but that is very likely better than no response at all (i.e. probable demise to the death).   Thank you body for generating the energy and directing it with force against the flu and a cold and diarrhea.  Thanks for the healing.  After getting knocked out for a few days I am ready to rejoin the fight.   So a few thoughts on healing.

Healing brings our systems up to date.

Whatever part or function in us that needed healing passes through an eddy in the river.  An eddy is where the water whirlpools as the river continues by.  There are the swirls of bubbles that get caught in the elbow of a river until a new wave brings them back into the river community.  The eddy is still part of the river, never not wet but spinning in a smaller world until it rejoins the flow.   Healing is the bridge for us to get back up to river speed.
Healing feels fabulous, refreshing, renewing.   Funny, some if us might even help ourselves to get unwell.  As in we damage/sabotage ourselves or relationships because the instantaneous natural healing response from our bodies and the earth can feel so good. That adrenaline rush of injury or danger to be being brought back into oneself by the beautifully efficient and loyal powers of healing. These powers return you to your best.  The healing force is true to your development direction and stage in life.

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The Healing Gap

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                          Photo by Ryoji Iwata on Unsplash
Healing and Treating doesn’t have to be an either/or situation.
Have you heard the story that the mother repeatedly brought her son to Gandhi to be healed from his eating a lot of sugar.  On these visits the doctor reviewed the patient but gave no remedy or course of action which became frustrating for the mother.  Finally on the last of many visits, Gandhi looks the boy in the eye and says directly and with compassion, ‘Stop eating sugar’.  As the story goes the boy’s sugar eating problem disappeared in that moment.  Leaving the office the mother looks over her shoulder to ask why it took so long.  The doctor replies, ‘I had to stop eating sugar myself first before I could ask your son to do so.’
Is this story true?
The point is find out how to grow oneself and heal and be on the journey of one’s life that makes us responsible.  Then we can look to see if there is a healing gap in our life or profession where technology or terminology usurps human contact and connection. What is a first step and if now is the time to take it?
Another report this week states that interns in hospitals are exhausted because they have long shift work over night.
12 – 24 hour shifts.  A quick Google search shows that these reports come out every 2 years in the media locally.
Truck drivers are allowed a maximum of 13 hours in Canada.  The reason for the limit is that they won’t have all their faculties to be aware of themselves and others.
A person, a young doctor may have the energy to want to help people and this can give them an extra boost so they do not notice the long day’s demands.  They are fed by this sense of purpose and thrive on more opportunities to learn and get experience so they can be of use when a patient has a question or looks with worry and need at them – the doctor.
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Photo by Zach Vessels on Unsplash
This need (of the patient), to be taken care of, to be healed, is an important aspect of people feeling good.  Of being fixed, cured, ‘all better now’.  It pulls energy from the doctor to the patient.  Despite the abundance of advances in medical treatments and developments in medicine that have greatly minimized intrusion for surgeries and deaths or suffering due to various diseases, the need  for healing will never diminish. That is ok, natural, to be expected.  The need to be healed is human.  Some people love healing and some of them become doctors.  The healing capacity is a part of the doctor that needs to be present, active, trained and supported.
Long shifts at the hospital require energy.  Healing requires energy.  Both requirements of doctor energy need to be managed.  How is that going these days in our state of the art medical centres?
There is a gap between treatment and healing.
That gap will be different in each doctor, dentist, massage therapist, nurse, psychologist.
Gaps in healing accompanying the treatment will be created and impacted for a variety of reasons.   Reasons like culture of the person, the culture of the workplace or industry, confidence of the person in themselves as a medical professional, level of personal development, understanding of healing, physical health, emotional health, relationship health, financial and spiritual well being, training, education and mission in life.
It makes sense there is a gap because the machines and chemicals we insert into the medical process between doctor and patient for getting us back to health.  You could say, pills and devices work on the physical while healing takes on the person occupying the body.
Do we know the gap exists?
Do we think it is bad and there is someone to blame for it?
Can it be addressed in medical school curriculum or does it have to be on an individual basis?
Is it relevant in our new moment of virtual medicine and AI.
The gap is inevitable with the growth of technology and maybe not a bad thing at certain times to have a distance between the doctor and patient as long as the patient is directed along a healing path because the gap made them more proactive about their own health.
The gap could be necessary for geographical reasons, money, health of the doctor etc.
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 Photo by Ramdan Authentic on Unsplash
The efficacy of placebos tells us we can heal ourselves with the power of the human mind and emotion so why do we dump that responsibility onto the doctor?
Identifying and dealing with the healing gap is not a blame game but a call to responsibility and actions and learning and community.
Big Pharma is not evil in its existence but their ways are the equivalent of the fertilizer/seed conglomerates in the agricultural sector by using a business model that destroys, quite often, growth.
So what can be in done in the face of billion dollar government health budgets, massive profit seeking companies plus a mix of sincere health professionals and self satisfying business people?
Heal.
Healing is a power that responds in the moment of the injury or sickness.  Healing is already happening before we even know it.
Healing power is there for doctors to connect to.  Therefore to be able to manage their own energy without reducing their role in the healing process.
Healing is fast  – can we catch up with it?
Healing is precise – do we know when it is to start and finish?
Healing is to be understood for its many facets or expressions and the human acts it can permeate .
What else?