FF3 – Emotional Accoustics

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Emotional Acoustics

Rodrigo yelled.

‘Hey! Leave me alone.’

Then came the answer. Rodrigo was 8 and yelling into the valley.

Hey leave me alone – the valley copies him.

Don’t copy me!!- Rodrigo yells and turns his back on the valley. He’s a funny, smart 8.

2 long seconds later –

Don’t copy me.

Amazing fealty for an echo. It is Instagram before Instagram: a brief recording of the moment and then it is gone. I guess it’s a combination of the low valley architecture furnished in green with pine trees and sloping hills.

We caught on to what Rodrigo was doing – it gave us a good laugh.

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The power of our echo is amazing. The impact the rebounding of our words and actions have in the lives of others.

This duration and the degree of the echo are always a product of one’s emotions.

The more invested we are in the other person the greater the duration of the echo. That can work both ways.

Combine that with the intention of the person plus the context and the echo could provide an uplifting harmony or a deafening noise puke.

Why?

We, men and women, are governed by the need of being loved and loving someone else.

How do the results of the Female Frixion rebound off the walls of love of her spouse? It is the acoustics of his sense of value for himself. That value can be anchored in his family, in how he takes care of his tools, his income, what people think of his wife. His value can also be self generated – so that way it is associated with higher connection (in contrast to external value that is dependent upon likeability). His self value in conjunction with his male instinct determine the harmonies he hears between the 3 roles of his wife.

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So when communicating the Female Frixion to her partner she will will feel received, understood and appreciated. Or if the man doesn’t grasp the concept of Female Frixion, the woman eddies in the river of communication, then he will substitute something else as his understanding of her message although it is inaccurate. And that will be the basis of his decision making about her from then on. Commonly labeled: happy wife – happy life. Or it can get adversarial between people and the Female Frixion is cemented as a 3 headed monster that is apparently the source of all marital issues.

Or with self-Love in both people it can be cultivated into

A tricycle of love.

There are no short cuts between you and the truth. Whether that be you and not feeling alone (short cut is to find someone not your wife);

Feeling disconnected with manhood in midlife (short cuts include but not limited to, drugs/alcohol).

Feeling loved and loving. (Short cuts too many to list but they all boil down to abandoning yourself as a man.) You have to do the work.

You can be smart about what you are struggling with. This means elevate your emotional agility to attract perception about how to struggle better, struggle happy, struggle together.

FF4 – Daughters

Female Frixion Series #4

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The teachers knew that her home life was tempestuous. Occasionally no lunch to eat at lunchtime. Waiting outside the school for half an hour or hour every now and again for someone to pick her up.

She was 8. Her instinct told her it was wrong for her dad to smash her mother’s face in. Still she lived through the many years of lots of blood and stitches. At 18 years old she called the cops on her abusing father. He never hit her mother again; Even when he came back to the house to live. The damage was done.

My wife, who was the 8 year old girl with no lunch, is still traumatized. But, refusing to be a victim her proactive nature helps her as a mother raising our girls to know their abilities and responsibilities. They are to be responsible for their own income so they don’t have to put up with any garbage from the father of their children based on financial need. They are responsible for their own emotions. They can cook (clean – not so much). They have shown they can love and be loved. They want to love and be loved. And not just by their mom. They are realizing they have the abilities to start and run their own business.

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We either want our children to replicate one of our childhood experiences when we feel it was an important ingredient in the good person part of us or we want to help them avoid like the plague a negative experience that has kept us from being happier. Happier and just overall better. Because had we been able to avoid that detrimental experience in our formation we might have been able to maintain our natural connection with the true trajectory of our life.

It’s painful for a parent to see when someone or some event deviates their child from their flourishing and self realization. It’s really painful when that someone is the daughter herself because she has low self esteem. Yet it’s more painful when the obstacle to a dynamic daughter is mama herself.

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So a mother will, out of unselfish love, superimpose her Female Frixion onto her daughter thinking the same thing that screwed up her high school years will befall her daughter. This can mean mother’s care doesn’t allow her to listen to what is actually happening in her daughter’s life.

As for the daughter when does she become aware of the feeling of the frixion? She is just learning about the nastiness that life can throw at a woman. Mom knows too well the variety, degree and damage of the nastiness.

The daughter is intensely living the adventure/romance aspect of life. She juggles some career preparation (school) and is being heavily influenced by the mothering vignettes she absorbs.

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Mom is feeling the reality of the Female Frixion and wants her daughter’s life to have better everything: Better romantic life, better career path, a better mother experience than hers. Mom’s intention is sincere but quite difficult to accept by a daughter whose focus is feeling her emotions in the moment. Cue the screaming, insults and slamming bedroom doors followed by 🤬.

It is vital a mother participates in her daughter’s understanding of the Female frixion. It is equally important that it be understood by all (mom, daughter, dad, brother, boyfriend, grandma) that the daughter’s version and expression of the Female Frixion will be unique. Therefore different to mom’s. Likely messy and frightening(for mom). Still equally as valid as mom’s.

Mom and daughter will have different ratios of the 3 roles, different timings of each role flourishing, varying resources to stick handle the friction at work and home.

Maybe the daughter has children. Maybe not. Maybe she gets married. Maybe not. Maybe she runs her own business. Maybe not.

A daughter needs her mother.

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Daughters need to listen to mothers.

Daughters need to hear from their mother about the Female Frixion. What it is, how to deal with it internally and how to communicate it.

Can mothers use their beautiful-potent-mother-love with finesse so their daughter’s development is not the sequel of their mother’s childhood longings and life traumas?

Not easy.

Sacred Book

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If your sacred book is the Torah – try reading the Koran. You will encounter a few friends.

If your sacred book is the Buddhist Sutra then take a look at the Bible. Find how the connective power of a living prayer can enhance a meditation.

If your sacred book is The I Ching what can you learn from The Upanishad? The variety of of life expresses a higher love that empowers us with positivity and guidance.

If your sacred book has become the Wall Street Journal then make a detour into the park. Take the time to try reading the bark of a red pine with your hands.

Jim Carroll

If Facebook is your bible leave your phone at home and walk with a friend in the dusk.

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If the story in your sacred book is being filled with pages of habits and assumptions about what other people think then stop. Turn to a fresh page.

Find a way to elevate. For example: Breathe, smile, get amazed by an Olympic athlete, share something awesome about a medical innovation, get out in nature early one day, put down the phone and love the fact of the small node on the top of your heart that sends the electrical signal that makes it beat. Pretty cool.

Life sustaining cool.

Sacred cool.

Sacred book.

Your book.

WITBOY3 – Find A Way

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Finding a way to improve my intention is a priority

Vacuums are frustrating. Especially if you don’t like to clean. And aren’t mechanically inclined.

And hate to admitting you are cheap.

The industrial vacuums can do a good job and last a while if taken care of. Even though they too have designed obsolescence (of about 1 year of regular use) and cheap plastic parts, most brands are reliable. But one of those would be way too bulky for my pint size condo.

Then my wife’s asking why spend $300 on a new vacuum that might give you 2 years service when a used one can do the same thing for $10. This time I agree with my wife.

So we bring home the new-to-us vacuum and fire it up as we didn’t test it in the second hand store. It is a plastic, black and turquoise creation that would make a decent R2 unit on StarWars. It starts fine and vacuums well enough but there is a stench.

Being the local fixer I drop a little Essential oil on the foam air filter and Bam – no smell! For 2 minutes.

Then back to the cheesy foot smell.

Upon further investigation it becomes clear nobody- the person who donated it, the store who checked if it worked and sold it nor the customer (me:)) had cleaned the filter. It was dirty. It was packed. With gunk and other people’s dirty stuff. And once clean it worked perfectly:)

To get the most out of life keep your filter clean so the experience you have is the true, best experience in the moment.

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Dirty filters mean although our eyes and ears are open, we hear how the situation impacts us as opposed to what is actually happening.

Dirty filters mean going through the motions. Dirty filters means repeating the same mistakes.

A clean filter is refreshing and is forgiveness. A clean filter is living in the moment. A clean filter is liberating your instinct. A clean filter is you when you answer your devotional life by seeking higher perception.

This higher education we can submit into daily life to improve it for ourselves, for community, tribe, for those future people who struggle with engaging humanity.

Submit it through a beautiful range of ways including: telling jokes, telling stories, inventing ceremonies, exuding love of your higher self, respect of what is foreign to you, loving and being loved.

WITBOY2 – Standards Are Important

Kurt Vonnegut advised to ‘Start as close as close to the end as possible’.

The American writer had 8 Rules For Writing. Gems of guidance for creating an interesting story. The above is #5.

Kurt Vonnegut’s 8 Rules for Writing

Vonnegut’s writing put humanity on display – and it often wasn’t pretty.

Perhaps he was lazy. The closer you start to the end – the shorter the journey so the less you need to write. Perhaps starting close to the end is a story design method so the writer stays true to the intention of the story.

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Each conversation is a story. Even if that conversation in a dark 30 seconds on a downtown street is between strangers, full of swearing, worrisome and in full public view. What happened was this big and tall guy darted in front of two walking women (mother and daughter) and ‘BOO!!’ he yells out of nowhere. The daughter screams back; her mother said don’t. Daughter pursued him down the sidewalk to share her fright but he wasn’t interested. He already got what he wanted and wasn’t about to listen. His sudden scare manoeuvre works to steal some good energy. In this case: Female energy; high potency anger energy; the beautiful energy of being the focus of the ‘conversation’. All of this makes him feel important and makes up for a lack of relationship in his life.

Dirty business tactics on his part. The business of energy management –

we are all in the same business of energy: give and take, diminish and elevate.

The big, tall guy on the dark, downtown street was using guerrilla tactics. And he started quite close to the end of the intention of his story – which was to steal good energy. It only took him seconds. End of story. For him.

Does that mean he is good at what he does; steal? Or that he has no art? No energy art.

What about the others in the conversation?

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Still recovering from the disturbing encounter the mother was coaching her adult daughter as they resumed their journey. The residue on the daughter from the experience is anger. Next time ‘listen to your mother’.

And if her mother isn’t there next time then the daughter would do well to activate her strength of resistance. Meaning make the continuance of her life ( like the walking conversation with her mother) more important than a grown man who is blind to his own value (due to self esteem or illness).

Resist the low. Adhere to the high. You are important.  Standards are important.

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So, tonight when you lay your head down – wonder – ‘what is true because of you?’

What do you want to be true because of you? This is like Vonnegut telling his students to start as close to the end as possible. If you have a good day what is the energetic residue? If you have a bad day, what is the energetic residue? If you are alone? If you are accompanied?

Close your eyes and know:

Because of you there is a marriage with a sense of loving and being loved;

Because of you a woman has no fear of violence in her marriage.

Because of you a colleague knows they are valued.

Because of you nature spirits flourish.

Because of you …

Life will jump in front of you and scream ‘BOO!’ now and again. When it does, resist the low. Maintain your standards that seek the good.

WITBOY1 – Intention: Make it happen

Intention – what do I want to cause?

I was 14 and my friend’s dad was dropping us off at 2 week summer camp when I heard the news on the radio.

Terry Fox has died.

He didn’t cross Canada like he wanted to. He made it halfway – a few thousand kilometres. On one real and one unreal leg.

The point was to raise money for cancer research.

Now 40 years later there are annual Terry Fox runs all over the world raising money, funding research, increasing awareness and strengthening community.

Marathon of Hope

All of this is true because of Terry’s intention to run across Canada.

Awesome.

There is a tensile, human strength in maintaining your intention while you make it happen. Realization of your intention may easily unravel before you in the moment. For most of us it requires we stick with it over many years. That is so valuable in this Twitter age.

The benefits of persistence- staying focused on the objective – are transferable to the next challenge. And are shareable with colleagues and children and spouse.

So …

Put it out there.

Share it.

Feed it.

Ask yourself ‘what do I want to cause?’

Make it happen.

AYM8 – They Can’t Find An Elder

Elders are old.

Elders are wise.

Elders are slow. Slow walkers. Slow dancers. Slow drivers. Not slow at understanding. Not slow at knowing how to use a very few words to connect young people to the truth of the way forward.

I have no idea how my grandfather did it but he nailed it with his nick names for his grandchildren. Names like ‘ol’ stick in the mud ‘or ‘money bags’. When it came to me and my nick name I think he was bang on: absent-minded professor. The absent-minded part I have down pat. The professor part not so much.

We, each of us, man or woman, will never make it to the role of elder if we take each stage of life personally.

We need to rise above our individual, daily now and see how to participate in the higher, group story. There is no Eldership Certificate. There are no specific qualifications required. Except you have to care enough not to care. Meaning care enough about the process of young men going from one stage of life to the next so that you don’t care what you have to do or say.

Young men need direction. Young men need a reason why to get an education or training for professional life.

Young men are screaming for someone to explain how the levels of energy work so that when they get angry they don’t hit a women.

Just like the levels of energy, with stages in life one leads to the next. With life you don’t have to do any learning to get older. The next stage of life comes because you keep breathing. We all grasp the opportunity and experience of each level according to our psychology and vision up to that point. But to elevate in the realms of energy we have to practice. Practice means maintaining standards. In daily life this means not taking things personally in the moment so you can find a solution to the problem instead of fighting. That is how you grow as a man and build a relationship with your spouse.

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In the moment it isn’t easy. In the moment it is too late to want to grow. That’s where the elder wisdom comes in because they have lived the good and the bad so they can share with credibility the importance of growing today for the challenges of tomorrow.

Where are these elders who know how to grow? And who understand the finesse required to manage the non-stop power of sexual energy? Who tells the stories of the various arts,skills and insights involved in pursuing a personal religion?

You are urgently wanted and obviously needed as a resource to be listened to and ask questions. We the previous generations are being called by the next generation to accept the role of elder. So young men can put down the beer, put down their fist or even a gun and pick up their phone – to make the call.