Transcendence – An excerpt from a book on Satisfaction

Photo by Devon Hawkins on Unsplash

In the chapter on Habits, Routines and Rituals we saw how champion chess player Bobby Fischer was able to rise above his own, widely known and expected, opening Routine in order to win.  He made the moment more important than the past.  Instead of the assumption he would start with 1e4, he opened 1c4. For me a no chess layer the change is minimal but in the chess world of the moment it was brilliant mayhem. 1e4 means moving your pawn that is in front of your queen 2 spaces forward. 1c4 is moving your pawn in front of your bishop 2 spaces forward. In the intense public spotlight and with years of the same opening move of he was still able to think for himself.  He was in service to a higher master: world champion status.

And this is the challenge.  In the moment of battle, be it world chess championship or an argument in your marriage or a strategic decision at work, can you address the adversarial with spontaneity.  Is there a higher level of meaning or connection that you seek?  This search for the way forward will lubricate your options at operational levels.  Like when you give in and just agree with your wife when things get heated just to avoid a yelling match. You go beyond you …

Be Self Transcendental…  It is mystical sounding terminology.  Mysterious allusions to sessions wafting with incense and ensconced in chanting.  What it boils down to is you getting over yourself. Getting over your low emotions about what is happening to you.  Getting over your reaction to the Life Stage you are experiencing.  Getting over your lack of foresight and your lack of discipline or spontaneity and self belief.  

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Transcending your history allows you to be persuaded by your instinct, so the moment flows through you, the light radiates out from you.

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The world doesn’t need your version of the hero/victim emotional pendulum.  Meaning that you think your ideas are awesome yet you still feel you are still under appreciated and hard done by life.  As a result you are going to usurp your conversations at work etc. as your therapy.  So that when you are finished talking you feel better.  Even though it can be made sense of it is not fair to conversation. Or the other person.  

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The nature of conversation is therapeutic.  It is the back and forth aspect of people emptying out that massages their existing and exiting feelings and ideas so they can bring in new ones.  It is the give and take of talk and listen, of confirm and refine. It’s refusing to be brought down by a person or topic while resisting judging others for where they are in the moment.  If we realize how to benefit from it, conversation offers transcendence.

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How do you transcend the darkness and step toward the light  – by yourself and for yourself? How do you use your past and not be used by it?  How do you rise above your fear, your stress, your limits, your anger and assumptions?  

Awesome transcendence options include:

  • Seeking a connection with nature
  • Offering others a person on a development journey
  • Updating your Beliefs
  • Highlighting Your Best Ego
  • Being responsible for your High and Low Emotions
  • Forgive.

Mind Sprout: Transcending yesterday’s Satisfaction to get a new, different Satisfaction does not make yesterday dumb or waste of time. That is how growth works. Who knows exactly why you had to be the way you were yesterday.

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  • Change is not the focus.  That’s doing things the hard way. . That’s the style of military basic training.   Where they break down the new recruits as a means to build them back up again according to military objectives.  This way those young men think they owe the military inhuman loyalty for making them a man; for providing them some sense of belonging and a purpose.  Well.  Those military psychologists are on the mark that the vitality generating exercises recruits perform accompanied by the camaraderie are crucial components of a healthy person.  The military, ISIS among others, are abundantly aware that a young man craves direction like a heroin addict scrounging for their next high.  

Juxtapose the previous with the following

  • Improve the connection with what is possible as opposed to breaking what made us impossible.  What is possible?  Us the intuitive, us the provocative and proactive, us the inspired, the spontaneous.

Please Remember 

1. You have ways, many ways to elevate into the person you want to be; the person your soul knows you to be.

2. In a moment of reflection … imagine … there you are, on the balcony, cupping, smelling your hot coffee, as the morning is in the throes of dawn. You feel that you have the embers of vitality, animated with your breath to fuel the flames of curiosity.  You radiate the magnetism of belonging so others are intrigued by you.  Your sense of direction nurtures others much like the forest canopy provides cover to the new growth in the forest floor.     

Challenge in Nature:  Walk slow.   Walk differently.  Our gait gets set when we are young.  It is amazing how difficult it can be to be conscious of our gait and walk differently than we normally do.  Go to the park or back yard and if possible take your shoes off – check for dog poo first!:)  Nature will join you on your little barefoot journey.  Walk slow, walk differently.  Try to walk a bit more on your toes, or roll your feet a bit more.  Give it time today, or another day.  The work is to be aware of you being different while actually remaining loyal to who you are.  Sounds weird.  So get out there!

Take the time and know it is valid to find or create your ways to elevate into the you of now, the you of vigour, vision and vitality.

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UPDATE YOUR BELIEFS

It’s ok if you don’t really know what you are doing.  It’s ok if you do.  It’s ok if you know what you stand for.  What do you stand for?  You stand for something you understand. You stand for a principle you uphold. You stand for your marriage being real, alive, supportive of the man’s journey into the unknown.

Share a bit of your vulnerability about you morphing over time into a different, newer you.  To share your desire to grow.  To transcend your education, your era, your ancestors.

Transcendental Meditation (TM) emerged out of India coming to the west in the 60’s.  TM  is a technique for avoiding distracting thoughts and promoting a state of relaxed awareness. The late Maharishi Mahesh Yogi derived TM from the ancient Vedic tradition of India. He brought the technique to the U.S. in the 1960s. 

One way to think about TM was that it took out the poses out of yoga and left you with breathing and mental imaging.

Breathing can aid you in transcending the many stresses of life.  Mental imaging is activated to focus your energy on the growing side of stress.  From the positive side of stress declare your beliefs.  The debilitating side of stress we probably all know well.  

Satisfaction is related to and impacted by stress, change, challenge, failure, growth, different, new, dread, negativity, unknown, lies, poor eldership by ancestors.  This range of stress will highlight both your strengths and weaknesses that naturally are revealed by each Life Stage.

One of the messages of Jesus could be categorized as ‘be transcendental about yourself’. 

In other words; Get over yourself.

Instead of the tyranny of your feelings, make something else the first consideration in the process of understanding. That ‘something else’ is what you stand for.

Photo by Tamarcus Brown on Unsplash

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YOUR BEST EGO

Get over what your Ego is screaming at you and strain to hear the nuances of Your Best Ego.  

Your Ego is like industrial farming – based on numbers and not vitamins, succumbing to shareholders and not natural planetary processes, satisfying the fertilizer salesperson and not your instinct.

Your Best Ego is like organic farming – that can let land fallow because it is not addicted to now/profits/expansion but rather on a journey of learning and growing.  There is variety and companion planting.

Self Transcendental is catching up  with your Life Trajectory.  Your Life Trajectory is inclusive of Your Best Ego and understanding of the Male Stack and Female Frixion.  Low emotional baggage is filtered out.  Your low emotional baggage will accompany you at the expense of learning and growing and sharing.   That’s a hefty baggage fee.

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Humility = Humanity = Humility

Self Transcendental is in the moment.  A moment shared with inner and outer lives:

Inner lives of Peace, Satisfaction, Belief, Connection, Vision.

Outer Lives of accomplishment, belonging, service, happiness, challenge, growth.

Transcendence is a bridge.  A bridging.  

It relieves us of our downward facing habits like: judgement, grudges, comparison, negativity, excuses, jealousy, ______________, _____________.

These misdirected habits, like judgement, are Minimizing Marauders.  They minimize you. Minimize your abilities.  Minimizes the female instinct.  Minimize the opportunity that offers itself in the moment.  They reduce the value of your willingness to love and be loved.  They suction out your Belief in Marriage.  They make you good at being mentally critical of your wife for being a woman.  They are nasty.

Picture that in your unconscious urge to transcend these Minimizing agents of nastiness fall like coins from your pocket.  As you cross the bridge of transcendence into the New You these coins fall from your grasp.  They tumble through the wood planks of the swinging suspension bridge.   You can either grab the railing for stability and stay standing as the coins fall into the deep, narrow, cold river with a minute splash – gone – as you move forward feeling the wisps of clean mist rising from below.  Or you can try and grasp those falling coins (agents of nastiness)  prostrating to money on the planks of the bridge clutching a few coins, not having taken the step to step into today.  

Your activated Vision is vital so you can see in your mind what you want to become.  That’s why your Updated Beliefs are beautiful fuel so you can feel in your blood the man you are in the moment.  Transcend the excuses and ridicule, the mistakes and regret.  Your Satisfaction Skills are so much stronger than immature ridicule .  Satisfaction Skills include: getting stuff done, knowing how to delegate, being an awesome teacher, _______________________, ______________________, __________________.     

Transcendence causes change.  Change can make us feel vulnerable.  Change can be mislabeled and vilified by Ego based fear subscribing leeches.  Don’t listen to them.  Transcendence is a process to the New You.  The New You will be received, loved and accepted just like the old you was received.  The thing is the old you had a best-before-date of yesterday and the New You has a best-before-date of tomorrow.  It’s a constant flow that uses your Inner Lives … to be you in the moment. The moment will renew and so will you. The New You emits constancy of Peace, Belief, Connection, Vision and Satisfaction. 

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Forgive:  

Gravitate to the love. To let go of the old.  Your former you doesn’t give you as good results as the new, as the now.  In comparison the old you is stale, inflexible, brittle, musty and rusty.  The task at hand is to harvest the residue of human qualities from your past experiences that now reside in your inner Life.  Your past is valid and necessary as part of your foundation for growth of your version of a man.

Why?  To offer to your spouse the real you, you of the moment with all your constant qualities and a history of success  [???]

How?  Breathe, smile, straighten your posture, laugh, share.  Understand that we do things because of the power of the Life Stage we are living working through our Ego working towards My Best Ego

Breathe …

Count in – 1,2,3 (deeper breath) …….4..5..6 (breathe into your pelvis) …….7…8…9…… Let the old yield to history and the new reveal you.

Take a moment – take a look – 1 Minute Wilderness:   https://wordpress.com/block-editor/post/wild-coach.com/902

The thing is the more we focus on the need to forgive, the process of forgiveness, what we need to forgive in ourselves and others we are submerging ourselves in yesterday.  Making the past the focus.  We are walking backwards while trying to get on the bus to the future.  That can make a lot of unnecessary work for others.  Others  need to know that they are forgiven or we forgive ourselves without reliving the whole incident.  It’s painful to poke old scars and opens healed wounds. A more fruitful focus is what we learned about ourselves, others, doing stupid things and how life stages can make something seem vital to us in the moment.  Exhibit that you have learned by what you do.  Let them hear it in your decision making.  Let them see it in your eyes when you ask a question then shut up to listen. 

 

Elevate.  Find a reason for what you do.  Adhere to that reason. A reason higher, greater than you reveals another aspect of you that is beautifully simple while being enigmatically you.  A powerful reason is to be immortal.  It was born before you and continues after you are gone.  Over the first 18-20 years of life we are being repeatedly handed the baton of self-responsibility.   The beliefs and values of those who nurtured us often become ours through osmosis.  Updating them makes them yours.  And that actually makes our parents so proud, when we take the family baton from them and do better than they did in their day.  We carry their admirable qualities of humility, companionship, support, agility, constancy as our inheritance.  At the same time we elevate above their downward facing habits, failures and arrogance before their instinct.  Elevate above the Ego of the moment letting yourself be pulled up into perception by your reason for action and your desire to see it made real.   This power fuels your service.

Service. 

Service takes so many forms and expressions. We all know what it means because we have been put into a situation of service having raised children, helped siblings and cared for aging parents.  

Parenting is a service industry that we signed up for with no pay but lots of incredibly rewarding moments, feedback, suggestions, arguments, disappointments, complaints and challenges to the ego that are answered with growth.  Being a spouse is the same.

None of these service roles include violence.  They do include communicating to generate understanding.  That’s what this book is about – creating your own avenues of communication, expression, stress relief and Satisfaction.  It’s about the you that is emotionally agile enough to offer your spouse support for her Fulfillment without the threat, hint or image of violence: sexual, physical, emotional, psychological using money, guilt or force.

We need to find something in the marriage or realize something about our wife to be of service to.  For many reasons.  Help others who need help.  Service offers our qualities towards making things better.  We get Satisfaction of being valued.  At the end of the day we are not wanting for Satisfaction and so offer our wife a man that is: peaceful, cooperative and warm. 

Service can be: coaching, volunteering to talk with elders or pick up windswept coffee cups in the park or accompany a blind person or cook at a homeless shelter.

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Perception.  

Let’s say perception is you thinking outside the box ( the box that men put themselves in);  You tapping The New You on the shoulder and asking for advice.  It is almost for certain that your life is framed by societal understanding of you as a man.  However the misunderstanding of the abilities of a man, especially in relation to a woman, is rampant.  This vacuum of value for a man’s nature is not limited to any culture or race or socio-econimic class.  We all underestimate the man that you are.  It is the man that you have become that won’t let us talk to the real you – the New You.  The New You loves perception.  The man you actually are responds to the human instinct.

How do we meet this fabulous guy?  This perceptive, instinctual dude?  How will I recognize him if he is new …?

This seems to be a major reason for using psychedelics.  Get past the conscious brain so your creativity creek can tribute into the flow of the river of innovation. Psychedelics, nowadays being used in micro-doses can do the heavy lifting of leapfrogging our mental pathways, negative or creative, to perception, to germinate innovation, enlightenment, possibly forgiveness.  

There is a resurgence of psychedelics in behavioural research and bio-hacking.

Some famous and effective bio-hacking personalities are Tim Ferris https://tim.blog, Dave Asprey the Bulltetproof coffee guy https://blog.daveasprey.com/about-dave-asprey/.  They are excellent sources of information as a result of using their bodies as guinea pigs, their minds as test tubes, their lives as laboratories.  Doing whatever it takes; eating, climbing, swimming, fasting to increase the yield of your body and brain.  The guys who do this are bright and brave and I am not going to follow their path.

I would say we are in constant reception of soul micro dosing.  

David Bryce Yaden PhD. John Hopkins University is doing great research into what might be termed ‘soul hacking’. That would be another way of talking about the personal religious quest. A study of the Devotional and the daily life in cultures. The book is for academics but the search is for all of us.

If we eschew psychedelics there is a buffet of drugs on the market be that coffee, alcohol, delusion, love, work, money, success, sex and more.   It is likely that most if not all the things on this list of activities are not as effective to deliver perception.  Perception in this case being about The New You.  Who is this New You?! New Me?! 

This is a guy that already exists.  It is a guy that makes you look good, look smart, on the ball.  This guy is fast!  Fast at knowing how to join in or to go it alone.

He has the sensitivity to get Satisfaction and let Fulfillment happen.  

He uses the past and isn’t used by it.

He isn’t scared of the moment because he has no need to control it.  The moment is free and so is he.  Free to accept a compliment.  Free to stop, smile and tell his wife she smells great.

Willing to see he has changed as he is processed through the succession of life stages.  Realizing that his spouse will be similarly changed and it is his task to update himself with her growth.  Admire her belief in moving the marriage forward that requires the best of you. 

Leverage the future of the New You in negotiation with the Old You.

Scent Of A Woman: “I’ll Show You Out Of Order.”

Satisfaction – excerpt

Social Cut on Unsplash

This is an excerpt of a short book in progress about Satisfaction. It has been in the works for some time but it can be considered a Son of quarantine:).

Satisfaction in the short and long term has many sources and benefits. What is being highlighted here is that we are all capable of and responsible for our own Satisfaction in the ongoing stages of life, evolving relationships and variety of experiences.

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I had some interesting and challenging jobs during the school year at university.  I went to a small college so the students could work as Campus Police part time.   Nowadays you see those bigger schools where they have ex-military patrolling the grounds looking for someone to beat on.  I would stay up all night and do my rounds checking doors telling my friends to be quiet and then ask them to please take me seriously as a Campus Police.  I would climb stairs and then write in the log book that I told rabble rousers to pipe down and that I had climbed stairs.  I am a great sleeper so I would catch a few winks sitting in the Campus Police office around 4 or 5 am and finish my shift at 7 am.  Good gig for a little spending money.

When I lived off campus I took a job where I functioned as the part-time eyes for an old, blind man.  I saw his ad at the student employment centre in February and got started on a weekly basis.  If he didn’t need me the following Sunday he would then just call every so often I would bike over to a house that he owned but no one lived in that I could tell.  I doubt he lived upstairs because the smell each time I came in was of the cold, undisturbed air of night.  Not air that carried the baggage of habits of watching television in the front room or routines of cooking.  The old house was in a great neighbourhood with lots of trees and sizable yards.   His place was full of building materials like 2 x 4s, flooring and doors.  

The place was to be fixed up.  Maybe if his sight came back.  Maybe by a son who didn’t have the time or desire.  He knew where everything was and how many there were.   In the musty basement he would direct 

“Do you see those 2 x 4’s piled in the corner?  Grab them and move them to the main  room upstairs and pile them along the wall.  When we get there I will tell you where I want them.”    I did exactly what he asked and did not question his requests or logistical specifications.  The old man would hesitate when I would say – ‘Ok that’s done.  What’s next?’  He knew what he wanted but had to rely on me to make it happen.  Kind of like I was his experimental robot in early Artificial Intelligence. 

I always arrived on time but he always seemed to be waiting.  It’s not that I was late.  Perhaps it was that he was dependent upon me and my young vision that made him impatient.  Because he really didn’t want to need me.  He was old but pretty mobile.  It was usually early afternoon when we finished up.  As I put on my jacket he would say thanks, ask again to confirm some detail of the work I had done, and count out my pay in blue, five dollar bills.  I don’t think he liked paying me to compensate for his blindness but considering the situation I think he liked being the one in control of this interaction.  He knew all his bills were five dollars each.  He knew how many he had, in which pocket.  He would check his tactile watch to calculate the time and then separate out each of the bills one at a time.  The bills were in front of him but he would turn his head to the side and up a bit as he counted.  He would put the remaining blue bills back in the same pocket.  Count out my pay, ask me to confirm it was correct and send me on my way. 

Satisfaction is a life companion.  Sometimes we can feel no distance between our need for Satisfaction and daily life.  At other times, stages in life, we can be grasping at it like it was a feather blowing in the wind.  

If you don’t know what you want, you will probably get what you don’t want.  Which means you get what someone else wants.  That someone else can be a colleague, neighbour, sibling, parent, boss, client, religious mentor, YouTube star, salesperson, waiter, child or spouse. That someone may have altruistic reasons for including your efforts in getting what they want out of life.  Or they may be using you much like they use a hairdryer or lawnmower.  Unappreciative of how you work and angry when you don’t (because they didn’t take care of you). 

Whether your experiences of supporting someone else’s goals are fun or repulsive you can apply the learning points inward and find a few ways of injecting your daily life with direction.  Directing your thinking towards growing your success of getting what you want.  

Growing my success gives me a sense of satisfaction.  Satisfaction is universal in its need and uniquely individual in its expressions.  Our bodies function on satisfaction.  The Ego needs satisfaction.  We want satisfaction.  The soul generates Satisfaction.

We are responsible for our Personal Satisfaction.  Our spouse is not.  When life throws us a curveball we can’t take it out on our relationships (marriage, children, parents).  When life shows us we didn’t prepare enough for life challenges of making money, dealing with people or staying healthy it is wrong to make our spouse pay for it because we have reached our limit for stress.  We are responsible for our emotions.  

Yes your wife is asking (nagging) about what you had for lunch because she is worried about your weight so you don’t have a heart attack like your dad and then can’t work to support your family.   She doesn’t make you angry.  It is managing emotions that gets us into trouble.

Maybe what you already do gives you satisfaction. Sometimes it is to find simple satisfactions.  There is value in simple that can easily be overlooked when we feel we have a lot of stress and responsibility and not much wiggle room to come through with results.  As cheesy as it sounds it is useful to realize we are showing resilience by putting up with a bad manager at work; we are providing constancy by still driving that 11 year old smelly car; we are following through on commitments by keeping a roof over everyone’s head.   

We all want more money.  Driving a sporty new car with that new car smell can relieve deliver some Satisfaction in the competition of making money.  If it makes life easier then do the work to make the money to buy the car.  In the meantime find the satisfaction in the moment to share with your family while inside you know you want more.  You want better.  That’s your challenge.  Welcome to it.  Share the challenge.  Share the stress of the challenge.  Just don’t hit, insult, threaten or withhold from your loved ones when you share.  You love your family and are loved by your family.  In daily life it isn’t too easy to feel the love with all the arguments and emotions and misunderstandings. 

And when you get to your limit what do you do?  Does your spouse know what you are going to do?  What do you want to do when you get to your limit today or tomorrow of your patience or understanding, or feeling of being appreciated, or get to your limit of knowing how to express your love in trying economic times.  

Those are your limits.  Maybe not your spouse’s limits.  Maybe not your children’s limits.  Maybe those limits were put there a long time ago.  By a small boy who needed guidance to grow into a young man.  Or a young man who had trouble finding his confidence.  Now those limits are being faithfully adhered to by a middle aged man who is being nudged by some weird feeling in this stage in life but is limited by his own history.  Limited in his ability to ask (dumb) questions and deal with the response.  Limited in being vulnerable in front of his wife or children because he might cry or need help.  

Vulnerability is part of life.  Violence is not.  Being responsible to know our limits and find ways to manage them or possibly extend them is part of life.  Using guilt instead of honesty is not a part of living.  That is an act of diminishing what a man and woman are capable of being together.  Emotional agility is part of a man’s life in every stage.  When he is young he can laugh, cry, be sad and feel proud of himself.  When a man is middle aged and then an elder he has the same liberty.  Age is not a limit on emotional agility.  The rich cry.  The poor laugh.  The middle class feel sad.  It’s not about the money.  It’s about you and your response to life in the moment.  You are powered by the residue of previous successes in finding a path forward with dignity for all.  Your response petitions your spouse to bring her versatility to the situation.  You companion each other in success, challenge, failure and learning.

Why?  Because that is what you want. 

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If this was interesting then there are other posts on this blog that you may like:

https://wild-coach.com/2020/04/14/make-their-fulfillment-your-satisfaction/

Soul Workout – 5 of 5

So, one more time …

Your soul loves its job. Your soul loves being …

It loves the books you read and the fresh spring air that you draw into your lungs. Your soul loves your kitchen dance. That dance you do to your YouTube playlist while you cook.

Jason Briscoe on Unsplash

Even when life isolates you because of a global pandemic or because of lack of understanding in your relationship you still generate love. It’s the soul love mentioned above. Many times the fact of soul love is little consolation when we are dealing with mid-life mayhem. Know that to lead ourselves and our family day after day we apply belief in the soul that pushes and pulls us.

Like in the emergence of spring, there is a Green power in us that gives birth, creates new and finds a way. It allows us to see the invisible. Which in fact is not invisible just not yet happened.

Accompanied by our soul we bring potential into being. In the process The New You blooms. The New You for what is clean and true and in the moment.

Make Their Fulfillment Your Satisfaction

When their Fulfillment becomes your Satisfaction. That is one of the Magical Arts of Love.

H Heyerlein on Unsplash

Remember the Art of War where the local administration is in charge of the decisions which the army carries out for the benefits of the community to live in peace. ‘In Peace’ feels great for us personally. But it is the impact at the human level that this environment of peace permits the soul to do it’s work. The soul is childlike in its enthusiasm, it’s readiness to enhance the human experience; your life.

Participating in this enhancement of someone else, because you made their fulfillment your satisfaction, is a valid expression of love. See a previous post for a bit of background: https://wordpress.com/block-editor/post/wild-coach.com/97

Part of the art of this love is understanding that the person we are supporting will shine. In part because of you.

Their shining for who and what they are and what they love to do is not a rejection of you. You are not being left behind. You are getting a glimpse of The New You of your spouse.

Designecologist on Unsplash

She loves you for support and feels you too want to rise into your The New You.

Soul Workout – 4

Your soul loves its job. Your soul loves being your soul.

Jon Butterworth on Unsplash

Your soul loves when you: connect with the planet; breathe in and feel part of the moment; sense you are in the flow of now. This can elevate you into your Devotion Emotion. This is our Yellow Power. This is loving and being loved.

Loving the belief in life’s trajectory; being loved by the higher realms that our source of light.

Jon Butterworth on Unsplash

Ask:

How do I create light for others like the higher realms do for me? This is the religious roller coaster of getting devotional and then re-integrating the elevated you with daily life. This is our fabulous challenge. And this is what helps us develop into a fabulous person.

Soul Workout – 3

Jesse Gardner on Unsplash

Your soul loves its job. Your soul loves being your soul.

It’s a cloudy and cool spring day here now. Which works for the moment. Since you can’t see it, imagine the light blue of the sky. Endless and true and welcoming. Stay with this colour blue …

One way to keep up with your soul is to develop your intuition and observation skills. This allows your sensitivity to respond not only to ego matters but to soul signals as well.

Form on Unsplash

What are pushups for the soul is when we can use our higher faculty again and again in order to project how we want to grow. Using the mental faculty now we can make the future connections we want.

When we can carve out the time in daily life (or there is a worldwide pandemic and we can’t leave home) there is an opportunity to elevate and focus the mind.

Breathe …

What do you want?

Why do you want it? What will it cause in you? How will that be of service to: your spouse, the planet, your devotion life, …?

Soul Workout – 2

Your soul loves its job. Your soul loves being your soul.

Nine Kopfer on Unsplash

This is the Red section. For lack of eloquence it can be plainly stated your Soul wants routine. It wants you to get stuff done so there is a sense of realization that can then be repeated. In the same action you get satisfaction. Your Red Art is to seek experience that delivers soul realization and personal satisfaction.

Find a way to make your seeking repeatable. And fun, intriguing, fruitful, inspiring. Find a way to share – other than Facebook. What are the many things you want to learn as a result of seeking for your soul.

Understand your Magnetic Strip. Like the black strip on your credit card that identifies your resources. What is your magnetic strip? What resources do you have because of your soul? What resources do you provide your soul? Like higher emotional content that is you wanting something greater than you. That can be in family or business or community.

Soul Workout – 1

Soul workout

Your soul loves its job. Your soul loves being your soul. It loves receiving the variety of information you deliver to it on daily and devotional levels.

Diana Akmetianova on Unsplash

Cardio exercise for your soul is you reading an interesting book, creative writing, gardening, nature connection meditation.

There are myriad ways you can do soul body building. In fact there are five aspects of your soul that you can work with.

Here is the first. Let’s call it White. To feed White you will Seek what’s next. You will have vision for how to grow and generate your own opportunities. Read books. Ask questions. Listen to interesting people.

Inside of what you hear and read seek to understand the motivation of others as you develop and refine your vision for your soul experience.

Ikka Karkkainen on Unsplash

Question: what do I seek – for my soul/ as a man/ for my marriage?

Be sure to heed what your ego wants and what your devotional life is nudging you towards.

Habit, Routine and Ritual

Like a flower has roots, stem with leaves and the flower carrying seeds, our scale of Habit-Routine-Ritual is a structure for growth.

Mike Labrum on Unsplash

Habits are the roots that connect us in daily life. Routines are the leaves that receive the light of today. Rituals are the flowers that are abundant with potential.

Habits are important because they are the foundation for growth. Routines are important because it is the stage that connects daily life with higher realms. Rituals are important because they are what makes us human. In your Rituals your human potential is enlivened by these higher powers. This higher source influences your sense of purpose thus creating the New You. The New You has greater clarity of vision and belief in human qualities that make their way into your habits and routines.

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This is the daily/devotional relationship that ends up being your personal religion. With active and true Habits, Routines and Rituals your personal religion will flow into your Rituals. Your Way will overflow into your routines and rain on your habits.

You Call It Self Care

I call it self love. Perhaps it is the same thing. Reading here may reveal we are on the same page or not. I would imagine we are.

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The Book of Self-care by Mary Beth Janssen can be found here: https://www.chapters.indigo.ca/en-ca/books/the-book-of-self-care/9781454926313-item.html. Exercises and activities are always useful to get from advice to action. So check out the ones in this book.

It is important to note that maintenance is not growth. Maintenance is the soil for the seed of the soul. You germinate your higher soul with your sense of self love. Self love grows into the light, the warmth and transformative qualities associated with it.

Discover and share the unique of others. Highlight and refine the unique of you.

Unique U.

As a natural act of appreciation a Hamilton, Ontario radio station is asking listeners to call in with the first name of a front line worker (nurse, doctor, police) they want to say thank you to. ‘Sue, who is a paramedic from St. Catherines – thank you!’ Great initiative: simple and inclusive to recognize professionalism and dedication.

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In these times of global worry what can we do to participate in societal protection and our communal recovery?

Like me if you are not working in a hospital or related services it can feel helpless to be confined at home. Although staying home is of great service to your family and all of the communities you are a part of so we don’t get sick or get others sick, it can feel passive.

What else can I do to help?

Seek the best in others. Offer the best of yourself.

Living without many of our daily habits, having our routines compressed or put on hold can put us on edge. Maybe you are taking care of and educating children. We can be impatient. Frustrated. Out of our element. Being limited by new health based protocols and regulations, that are for our own well being, can reveal we have to find new ways to live. Can we find topics of conversation so we are not accumulating fear by only focusing on the virus?

Yes! Go back to school. Enrol in Unique University. Unique U. is where we learn more about ourselves, others, marriage, parent roles, stages in life. We can learn jokes, new recipes, some Yoga, paint a picture, plant a few veggies in starter pots. We could get better at singing or realize what we already knew – that we will never be a good singer:)

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In the tutorials of Unique U. we are the student one moment and the teacher the next. Our emotions (daily / devotional) and human qualities are the curriculum. Seek the one-of-a-kind of each of us that can easily get lost in the rush and demands of daily life.

Offer to read out loud to someone an interesting few lines from a book and seek their perception about it. Seek to understand the ‘why’ of yesterday to offer better vision of the ‘how’ for tomorrow. Seek satisfaction for yourself to offer fulfillment to others.

This can help us update our beliefs about ourselves. Highlight that you are versatile, creative and resourceful. It can also remind us our family members are funny, quirky, spontaneous and caring.

The Seesaw

I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who said ‘ok’ to the playground bully when he said, ‘Hey jump on’ to the other seat of the painted green wooden playground seesaw.

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This playground in front of the winter outdoor hockey rink (and summer tennis courts) also had the big swings that were awesome; you could pump your legs to swing so high. And then jump off at the peak of your follow through which was a good 15 feet above the ground. Way outta control!

There was the long metal slide that heated up to burning hot in the July afternoon sun. You couldn’t slide down without a serious leg burn.

So on this day the local buffoon convinced me to participate and now I am up in the air as he lifts his seat and bashes it back to the ground. This sends me flailing a foot above my seat. I hold onto the metal handle with all my ten year old might.

He laughs the asshole. He loves it. Again he bashes his seat down punctuated by his villainous cackle. Again my legs fly into the air. I’m bucking this green wooden bronco and wondering how to jump off as it looks like he is not going to let me off.

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Likewise the seesaw in relationships can generate a variety of emotions from elated to enraged. I am sure you know what I mean.

Let’s look at the fulcrum which is the part in the middle that is the balance point between the two extremes. According to the little drawing above one side is ‘Self’ and the other being ‘Love’ in our relationship seesaw.

Too much self at the expense of love means a person is in a relationship for personal gain. To feel loved with out offering love in return. Another imbalance is when we don’t love ourselves enough and submit our fulfillment to the satisfaction of our partner.

Somewhere in between the two is an ongoing sensitivity of give and take that looks to somehow feed both at the same time. So make yourself loveable and therefore, in your own way, attract love. Without negating this love you attract, your art is to seek out how to love another for the person they want to be.

The $12 Vacuum

Many a car’s mechanical problems can be related to how often you change the engine oil. The more often you change it the cleaner, the saying goes, it runs. Also it means the mechanic is rooting around under your hood to see or hear if something is wrong. Which not coincidentally generates more business for the garage. If in fact he finds something wrong then you are doing preventative maintenance which is almost always cheaper than repairs. Not only with cars but just about everything else.

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Take our vacuum for example. We bought it second hand because my wife’s experience is that you spend a $150 or usually more on a new vacuum and more likely than not it is giving you headaches within 6 months. Funny when I was growing up we had an emerald green Electrolux whose design was inspired by one of the characters in the canteen from the movie Star Wars. The thing lasted easily 15 years. Suction wasn’t great those last few years. That was still in the day of the vacuum bag that filled up and you had to toss. I think the whole thing was designed around selling vacuum bags because they weren’t very big and it was pretty awkward to empty them out and try and re-use.

Now our vacuum looks like son of Electrolux: turquoise with a mini body for the dirt receptacle. Nowadays we just empty out the dirt receptacle and keep going. And that is what the people who dropped it off at the donation centre where we bought it must have done because I fired it up and the smell as atrocious. A warm, old shoe bad smell filled our condo. Neither the previous guys nor the donation centre thought to clean the filter. Nor did I when I bought it:) So the filter got cleaned and boom the vacuum is awesome and is running to this day. I think it cost $12. No bags. No fuss.

I have seen the same thing happen with our sink, the fan above the stove, the drain in the shower: you have to clean out the filter to keep things running smoothly (and without a nasty smell.). The same applies to people. I remember in my early working days I didn’t have much money so I didn’t eat well. It didn’t help that I was single, living on my own with limited cooking experience. My home cooked food consisted of lots of toast and canned soup for dinner. Breakfast was a coffee and donut. Lunch would have included the occasional veggie. Whadaya know? I ended up in the clinic with an obstructed bowel. It was painful. Just knocked me out for a few days with no energy. No other symptoms. The doctor said I needed fibre which translates into leafy greens and colourful fruit. In other words I needed to unclog the drain or change the oil. I needed to clean my filter. Physically.

That has happened to me mentally as well. Where I need to learn a new concept about someone or something. As our two daughters get older I need to understand that I am not their only source of info and entertainment or decision making. I must realize they are moving through stages in life rapidly and I have to update myself at the same pace or risk making myself obsolete. It doesn’t mean letting them do everything they want and talking about every single meme they find on their phone. It just means be agile with my role as their dad.

With my wife I need to listen to her ever changing situation with menopause. I need to be confident in our connection and lovingly efficient in grasping where we are today. It’s not boring. I prefer it to a habitual life that is not challenging. I am not going to hold menopause against my wife – that would be stupid. There is no time or space to be acrimonious. I prefer to love and be loved. Loving the menopausal version of my wife means I need to have a good memory, want her to be healthy, be able to ride the roller coaster again and again without getting off. Woohoo!! Just be there for her. I am tall enough to ride that ride:)

I see it comes to updating what I want and what I believe. I want my wife to be happy. I believe our marriage is working. Some days it works like a Tesla model X – fast and curious. Other days it’s like a 1973 Westphalia camper van – lots of baggage and going pretty slow.

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Even Telsas have filters that need maintenance.

I find if I clean up the filter, be it the backlog of things my wife has asked me to do (throw out my good boxes cardboard goes I have piled up) or not to do (fall asleep on the couch) we do pretty well. Being in good physical shape and having some sense of your soul are other self tasks to keep things turning over.

When was the last time you cleaned your filter?

If you have a soul please read this.

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In 2003 the U.S. military needed to justify attacking a country that was not attacking them. So they invented facts about potential dangers posed by this other country. Also known as lying. Also known as the Iraq war that was a disaster with ongoing human fallout. To fabricate a reason to share your aggression means you are not at peace. I am guilty of that. I am not alone.

Another way to live with yourself and your neighbours is to ‘love and be loved.

Your soul loves you.

Even when you screw up or get frustrated. You are loved even when you are depressed and broke.

Why? Because your soul loves providing service to you. The planetary soul focuses on managing your energy so you are healthy and safe and able to make decisions. The soul’s service depends on the information you deliver to it.

That info can be numbers, words, phrases, emotions, experiences, thoughts, ideas, feelings… In return this info is processed through the soul centres in your life to keep you alive, thriving and finding ways to participate.

So it makes sense to give your soul good information. Offer it things that are true. Ideas that generate learning and smiles and fulfillment. Information for the soul of others that generates happiness, belief and relief into their life.

So find those words and ideas and emotions. Or discover a reliable source of encouragement. Or be that creative conduit of understanding emotions and intriguing ideas.

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Be a small spring of peace high in the mountains that appears clean and fresh.