Soul Workout – 1

Soul workout

Your soul loves its job. Your soul loves being your soul. It loves receiving the variety of information you deliver to it on daily and devotional levels.

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Cardio exercise for your soul is you reading an interesting book, creative writing, gardening, nature connection meditation.

There are myriad ways you can do soul body building. In fact there are five aspects of your soul that you can work with.

Here is the first. Let’s call it White. To feed White you will Seek what’s next. You will have vision for how to grow and generate your own opportunities. Read books. Ask questions. Listen to interesting people.

Inside of what you hear and read seek to understand the motivation of others as you develop and refine your vision for your soul experience.

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Question: what do I seek – for my soul/ as a man/ for my marriage?

Be sure to heed what your ego wants and what your devotional life is nudging you towards.

Habit, Routine and Ritual

Like a flower has roots, stem with leaves and the flower carrying seeds, our scale of Habit-Routine-Ritual is a structure for growth.

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Habits are the roots that connect us in daily life. Routines are the leaves that receive the light of today. Rituals are the flowers that are abundant with potential.

Habits are important because they are the foundation for growth. Routines are important because it is the stage that connects daily life with higher realms. Rituals are important because they are what makes us human. In your Rituals your human potential is enlivened by these higher powers. This higher source influences your sense of purpose thus creating the New You. The New You has greater clarity of vision and belief in human qualities that make their way into your habits and routines.

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This is the daily/devotional relationship that ends up being your personal religion. With active and true Habits, Routines and Rituals your personal religion will flow into your Rituals. Your Way will overflow into your routines and rain on your habits.

WITBOY4 – High Heals

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Photo by Sarah Cervantes on Unsplash

I saw a documentary years ago about women boxers.

Some women who go to the gym and learn to punch for self protection.  There are those women who are professional boxers that live and train to fight.

And then there were the women that were the focus of this film. They are mothers and wives who have a full life and a full time job.  And they box. They get into it for personal motivations that are part of their story.

I remember the single mother, let’s call her Suzie, being interviewed as she put her kit in the back of the car. Late 30’s, 2 children, at least 1 ex-husband, very cheerful. And she hits other women. For exercise!

I can imagine that it functions as therapy. So can shopping. And unless it is Black Friday nobody hits anyone.

So the stress release involved in boxing that Suzie feels is quite clear to see. The training required puts her into great shape. The adrenaline and associated hormones of landing a nice right hook help to feed part of her female life. So actually there is a lot of upside. As long as you don’t get knocked out.

Is that it? What else does she get out of it?

Doesn’t her body pay a price? They do have to wear protective head gear etc. Doesn’t it hurt? Yes. And without being sadistic, that’s part of the motivation. Part.

When you get hurt your body takes over the healing process. Without delay or excuses, with precision and efficiency: It is how the human body loves.

Even between rounds the body of a boxer starts to heal.  Healing is miraculous and beautiful. And it feels good.

Suzie wants to feel good. Remember she is cheerful. With all of life’s challenges she has turned out to be a happy, middle-aged single mom (who you don’t want to fight over a parking spot):)

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Photo by Sarah Cervantes on Unsplash

 

When healing the white blood cells protect a wound from infection. They also produce chemical messengers called growth factors that help repair wounds.

Dopamine helps regulate new blood vessel creation in the healing process of skin wounds. More wounds = more dopamine.  Dopamine is a chemical in the brain that causes you to feel good.

Natural ways to generate dopamine are: exercise, meditation, sleep and certain foods to name a few.  Destructive ways to generate dopamine are: alcohol , drugs and related poor lifestyle habits.

Dopamine can help us heal and also be a factor in cementing a habit.  Whatever that habit might be: Smoking, drinking, boxing or getting hit by your boyfriend.

The hitting part hurts your face and damages your self esteem but the dopamine connects the whole process with getting better.  So some people end up using cocaine to get the dopamine.

Some women don’t leave the violent boyfriend so they can get hit again to get the feel good of healing dopamine.

Here is a crazy idea – that part of the difficulty of women to leave an abusive relationship is because, mixed up with their level of self respect, they kind of want the next fix of a neurotransmitter released in the healing process?

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Photo by Chris Ensey on Unsplash

Healing feels good. As it should – with all the goodies the body is generating. Don’t make healing from violence your source of feel good.

Instead …

Find something that pulls you up into Your Best Ego. Could be dancing, cooking, organizing, being a good mother, forgiving, inviting someone, highlighting someone else’s good trait in a difficult situation or having a connection moment with nature. Your Best Ego is you choosing for yourself how to live. Your Best Ego includes people that bring respect. Your Best Ego is at a level of energy that generates healthy sources of happiness. Your Best Ego seeks value to keep growing.

Be like your body and bring the growth factor; be the growth factor.

High heals.

It is true.

Is it true for you?

WITBOY2 – Standards Are Important

Kurt Vonnegut advised to ‘Start as close as close to the end as possible’.

The American writer had 8 Rules For Writing. Gems of guidance for creating an interesting story. The above is #5.

Kurt Vonnegut’s 8 Rules for Writing

Vonnegut’s writing put humanity on display – and it often wasn’t pretty.

Perhaps he was lazy. The closer you start to the end – the shorter the journey so the less you need to write. Perhaps starting close to the end is a story design method so the writer stays true to the intention of the story.

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Each conversation is a story. Even if that conversation in a dark 30 seconds on a downtown street is between strangers, full of swearing, worrisome and in full public view. What happened was this big and tall guy darted in front of two walking women (mother and daughter) and ‘BOO!!’ he yells out of nowhere. The daughter screams back; her mother said don’t. Daughter pursued him down the sidewalk to share her fright but he wasn’t interested. He already got what he wanted and wasn’t about to listen. His sudden scare manoeuvre works to steal some good energy. In this case: Female energy; high potency anger energy; the beautiful energy of being the focus of the ‘conversation’. All of this makes him feel important and makes up for a lack of relationship in his life.

Dirty business tactics on his part. The business of energy management –

we are all in the same business of energy: give and take, diminish and elevate.

The big, tall guy on the dark, downtown street was using guerrilla tactics. And he started quite close to the end of the intention of his story – which was to steal good energy. It only took him seconds. End of story. For him.

Does that mean he is good at what he does; steal? Or that he has no art? No energy art.

What about the others in the conversation?

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Still recovering from the disturbing encounter the mother was coaching her adult daughter as they resumed their journey. The residue on the daughter from the experience is anger. Next time ‘listen to your mother’.

And if her mother isn’t there next time then the daughter would do well to activate her strength of resistance. Meaning make the continuance of her life ( like the walking conversation with her mother) more important than a grown man who is blind to his own value (due to self esteem or illness).

Resist the low. Adhere to the high. You are important.  Standards are important.

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So, tonight when you lay your head down – wonder – ‘what is true because of you?’

What do you want to be true because of you? This is like Vonnegut telling his students to start as close to the end as possible. If you have a good day what is the energetic residue? If you have a bad day, what is the energetic residue? If you are alone? If you are accompanied?

Close your eyes and know:

Because of you there is a marriage with a sense of loving and being loved;

Because of you a woman has no fear of violence in her marriage.

Because of you a colleague knows they are valued.

Because of you nature spirits flourish.

Because of you …

Life will jump in front of you and scream ‘BOO!’ now and again. When it does, resist the low. Maintain your standards that seek the good.

AYM7 – Satisfaction and Fulfillment have been usurped by Blame and Guilt.

Angry young men might have a valid argument for having anger issues.

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Our golden retriever wasn’t very happy that my wife and I only took her on the short route for her evening walk. It was a chilly and windy December evening with the dusk fading rapidly. Returning home from the walk we turn left out of the elevator and our noses catch the smell of warm, freshly baked chocolate chip cookies that flavours the condo hallway air.

Once in our kitchen I gulp down two still- soft cookie creations. A Gooey, messy, tasty sugar rush.

My daughter is now watching a movie, having made the cookies and feeling fulfilled at accomplishing the task she set out to bake. In relation to the same event I am in the kitchen breathing the deep breaths of satisfaction, having been cookied.

Meanwhile my wife is savouring a sense of various fulfillments. She was connecting with her husband on the evening walk thus responding to the urge of her romantic(and now married) life. Arriving home to a proactive daughter she fills with pride that cannot be measured yet that is vital to her sense motherhood.

All of this after a day of the demands and successes of a full day of work.

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We are all responsible for seeking Satisfaction and Fulfillment in our lives. As children we receive the guidance of parents and teachers.

The gradual acceptance of responsibility for our words and actions is part of engaging adulthood.

If we can engage this next step in life with confidence, curiosity and healthy coping mechanisms then we will find satisfaction with a positive outlook.

If we aren’t ready to manoeuvre in the adult realms then we can feel overwhelmed and look to relieve ourselves of the weight of responsibility. An effective technique for getting that relief is blame. Blaming others. Reacting unconsciously because we haven’t decided to grow into My Best Ego. So we make someone else the creator of our reality. We convince ourselves there is almost no possibility we could have had control of the circumstances that brought us here.

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Young men need to be able to watch adults manage life with agility. Meaning a challenge is what happens when you grow. Challenges don’t make us feel dumb or frustrated. The challenge is not the one we encounter on the road of growth – outside of ourselves. The actual challenge is how we react and deal with the situation.

Do we frame the challenge as a nuisance to pushed to the side ? And as a result do the minimum? Or do we apply belief in our abilities thus converting the same challenge into a springboard for growth?

Seeing the challenge as an external hassle means we are giving the pen that writes our life story to someone else.

However the challenge is actually a light that we can shine on our own qualities. To ensure we are grasping that same pen to decide the lines of our own life story.

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So …

Grab the pen. Write your story.

Believe: in yourself, in your style of man, your kind of confidence, your version of strong, your adaptation of resourceful, your insight about elevating the expression of man.

Speak up about what you want. Speak out about what you feel.

Nurture your vision for tomorrow and Seek its Satisfaction. Offer to others a young man who knows what it takes to uphold a positive outlook even if the situation isn’t fair.

Planetary Arts Series – Mars

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My teacher Elliott taught Xing-yi in the park. It was $10 a class or pay what you can. I think at least half the class took the second option. Most of us were 20 something new arrivals in Taos, New Mexico working in cafes or construction waiting for ski season.

This class was my first exposure to martial arts. Elliott was an awesome instructor. I remember he asked if I had any experience – ‘no’. He said that was usually better because I didn’t have any habits to overcome. I went for a few months that autumn and never returned.

However you could say I had been into martial arts most my life.

What is meant by that is illustrated in the following brief writing.

Martial Arts.

Bruce Lee was the man! He was the whole Hollywood package. Taking Kung fu to the people.

Martial Arts, if we break it down, could be said to be the Art of War at an individual level companioning the pursuit of peace at tribal level.

Fighting happens. We need to protect ourselves. Our community and at the same time each one of us. Because of the energies involved in the physical or strategic battles it can be very hard, coarse, adversarial, debilitating, draining. That does not mean it is artless. The very stress of the fight, battle and struggle calls for specific skills. If we can activate our skills of self management in war then we have the way to move beyond it. Fighting is a way to communicate what we value and is not a form of communication in itself. Meaning we are fighting for something. For safety or peace or integrity or dignity.

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Mars was the god of war from Ancient Rome which speaks to the tribal level of martial managment. The Chinese masters have brought forward with dedication through the ages the forms and sequences of self management of the energy of the red planet. Today we are equally tasked to manage what energy we attract, process and how we dispose of it. We dispose of energy in so many simple and natural ways: conversation, sleep, digestión and organ function in the body.

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Said in a conceptual sense, Martial Arts are the system of cleaning, garbage and recycling. So in reality we could say planetary/environmental stewardship is a martial art. At which by majority we have been failing as a group. The human arts of these natural systems are qualities like: forgiveness, making important things important, humour, elevating vision, curiosity plus humility.

On a development journey Martial cleansing activity (yoga, tai chi, aikido) combines very well with the planetary arts of Mercurial vision or earth perception (topics covered in this series).

The art is of thinking ahead. Of engraving mental and emotional pathways in conjunction with life sequences of movements to process life in the moment. Thus maintaining focus on the journey without being sidelined by one’s own reaction or intrusion by bullying. These are forces that cannot grasp the need to hold the apparent contradiction of something in them and not pass judgement.

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Think about these three levels of engagement of your natural Martial art:

Low – not letting yourself get damaged but not being the author of your own story.

Medium – using what comes at you for you – think aikido.

High – using what comes at you to elevate your art of perception that powers your red art.

——

This is a mental model for understanding what you seek with your language and actions, intentions and vision.

AI Versus the Juggler

Juggle.

AI cannot juggle.

Photo by Juan Pablo Rodriquez on Unsplash

The organization OpenAI has done really impressive work in the territory of robotic manual dexterity. But which robot has a reason to juggle? It has no reason to do so. On the other hand, we all juggle priorities like health, work, relationships and family, income and studying and maintenance of a home. AI is probably integrated into all of those aspects of

life but will never have an overarching need that goes into decisions that determine how the juggling of life is juggled.

So to keep control of our lives out if y the hands of robots we need lives that AI cannot touch. Yes robots and algorithms have their functions. Those functions are to get a result and use the result to get better at getting the next result. But there is no sense of elevating those functions to a transcendent goal.

So should we be scared about AI. You bet! A scan of the lifestyle of our global culture does not indicate that a higher purpose has been identified that influences education systems, youth and corporate, towards any sort of not for profit perception. Therefore we are in direct competition with robots for various functions.

Back to our juggler. She doesn’t look at each ball directly but looks forward to maintain all the balls in the air. Jugglers use a rhythm of letting go and grabbing so they can keep giving attention and direction to everything they have on the go. Whether that be 3 balls in the air or children, their own business, caring for aging parents, improving their education, finding a partner or possibly deepening their religious awareness.

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Developing this religious awareness, or soul life, can open other doors; individually to feel less threatened by a machine and, as a culture we can create an array of service industries based on the thriving soul lives within us that seek learning for self development as a human.

I have an I.D.E.A.

This is a compact tool to focus your energy to get stuff done.  Actually you can also use it at the same time for feeling a sense of purpose.  You can use it in the morning to approach the day or reflect on your participation at the end of the day.  It assumes you are seeking help to meet the new you, the next version of you and share it with the world.   The experience can facilitate an updated sense of self and sense of belonging while also contributing to your various communities (the many inner lives, family, nation, society).

Ask yourself – What do I want? That is the I.  And do something about it.  That is the A.   When it has a positive impact on your day, your mood and helps you to learn and participate – That is the D.  When you follow through on your intention and it causes you to make decisions and ask questions that are based in your sense of connection – that is the E. 

That is I.D.E.A.   The idea is that as you go through you life you don’t have to stop and make your spiritual pursuit a separate life endeavour.  You can be crafty in making some degree of your professional life provide the foundation for your soul development.

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                                      Photo by Austin Wade on Unsplash
I is for Intention – What you want to do that day.  You can have various ‘small’ intentions that you check off your list in the course of your day.  Things as simple as saying ‘hi’ to someone whose attention you want at school or work; getting 10 likes on an Instagram post; helping someone feel better.  You can have an intention for the day, week, work, family, health, planet, …
D is for Daily– the impact of your intention in your daily life.  Keep it simple: you want to feel proud of your work, fulfilled you helped around the house, encouraged to repeat your intention.  Here daily refers to your maintenance life: making money, staying healthy, finding friends and companionship.
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                                    Photo by Sunyu Kim on Unsplash
E is for Elevated– the residue you want in your soul life.   This is the result of applying your skills and strengths towards your Higher self.  This is your unique response to the religious energy that arrives in your life because you have a soul.
This can sound ethereal, cheesy, intangible, like a waste of time, difficult or simply beyond your reference and experience.  That makes sense but at the same time is the moment to push through and do your homework of you.  The art of you is connecting your daily intentions with whatever your Higher Self is.  Or perhaps it is to let the sincerity of  your daily efforts support your Higher Self .
The key understanding here is in the word ‘elevated’.  This means above; above normal, beyond daily, higher than what passes in daily life as enough, more connected than habit.
How does one elevate?  Taking Action (see below) with an Intention (see above) that is greater than oneself.  Think: teaching, mentoring, volunteering.  I am reminded of the guy I would bump into some mornings while I was walking my dog.  He had the garbage collecting tool and a bag.  On his own time – usually 6 am – he would go down to the lake shore and collect garbage – beer cans and coffee cups by majority.  I thanked him and he was so appreciative of my recognizing his service – cheerful guy.  He told me there were others who did the same thing as him.  Awesome!!
That guy is elevating above himself to offer without counting the cost or looking for reward.
Providing that selfless service provides meaning or fulfillment and makes us happier and easier to deal with:)
A is for Action  – that you take that attracts positive energy.  Like Nike – Just Do It (swoosh).  Take action towards accomplishing your intention that at the same time feeds your various (daily and elevated) Human levels.  Repeat.
What’s the big I.D.E.A.?! – you are the big idea!!  Your growing into your development trajectory as you emerge out of puberty into adulthood and travel through middle age and arrive into elderhood.

your body is a temple

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Photo by Ben Weber on Unsplash

 

Your body is a temple so why bother going to religious service.  You can never be late if your attend yourself:).  Current religious offerings rely more on the need  lost people than on the soul connection of the people running the religions.  Nothing wrong with being lost – especially being young and lost – just think of the Bieber.  There is something amiss when the people offering religiousness are more lost than you.  They are lost in their dogma and politics and confusion of lies.   So you need to find ways to be the spontaneous you, the agile you, the humble you as you struggle to stay true to the temple of truth and growth.

As you struggle, read the following:

 

What is the relationship between information and elevation on our journey of personal development?  Do you need more info or more inspiration?  More passion?
Do you want to change your location (on the x – y axis)? Why?

x is info and y is elevation.  Info gets you more of the same result pushing you further along the path.  Meanwhile elevation gets perception about improvement and growth and fulfillment.  Info can help elevation.  Too much info or addiction to its search can usurp the idea of growth and put urgency and status in its place.  Elevation gets you better info, better intel, better energetic friends who are interested in your best life.

So.
We need tools, references, resources, reasons and examples to learn how to re-locate responsibly.  A prescription for a specific x.  Align to a a higher y (why:))
We need tools to elevate our source of references and reasons to get perception about managing the balance of reference and elevation.
Tools include maintaining a healthy foundation in the body, mind and emotions; find a moment of peace, moving meditation, regularly distinguish between habit, routine and ritual and use them for your growth or phase them out, belief in higher purpose, be of service, teaching, mentoring and being mentored, telling stories, volunteering…

What Is Your Photosynthesis?

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Randy Kinne on Unsplash

Plants gather elements and molecules.  They apply pigments and solar power.  They produce oxygen and sugar. What plants produce are agents of growth for the rest of us.

Image result for photosynthesis equationcourtesy: biologyexams4u.com

What is your photosynthesis?
Your photosynthesis is when you combine things in the presence of something higher to make growth possible. That ‘something higher’ can be as simple as helping someone who needs it, or it can be belief in someone who you have seen fail many times before, or it can be your appreciation for the planet (who is so reliable in her photosynthesis 🙂 ).

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Photo by Nathan Anderson on Unsplash

This is you.

Creating.

Making something unique with universal ingredients.  Using your energy, your love, your warmth, your touch, that panache you bring that draws out their smile.

What are your raw materials and instigators for growth?  What do you make possible?

Your ingredients:
Your carbon dioxide is …
Your water is …

Your process:

Your sun is …
Your chlorophyll is …

Your result: 
Your sugar is …
Your oxygen is …

Life Example:
Sun is your love of people learning
CO2 is your sense of humour
H2O is your spontaneity
Chlorophyll is your perception about people
Sugar is good conversation
O2 is new friendship

Work Example:
Sun is project
CO2 is staff
H2O is product
Chlorophyll is your leadership
Sugar is the feeling of good collaboration
O2 is the new business as a result

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Photo by Saffu on Unsplash

What do you want your photosynthesis to cause …? 

Think about it…. Think about it some more…again tomorrow and next week:)

The Solidarity of Self Love

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When you wake up and go to the bathroom you many not like what you see  in the mirror.   Those greenish purple bags under your eyes and wrinkles appearing or deepening.  Let’s not even start with that emerging belly …

If you experience yourself at an elevated level then you will love yourself.    Is that because you are such a great person?  Maybe:)  But really that is the normal sensation when we find ourselves in an elevated state of energy.   It has to do with less judgement and more understanding in the higher levels of the planet’s energy.

The Soul is always guiding us into growing and learning; positive and willing.  Creating routines and rituals that accompany your Soul is an effective and sustainable way to elevate your energy.  Being of sincere service to others is a rewarding way to elevate.  Reflecting on the grace and reliability of planet Earth can generate refined appreciation.
It is when we limit ourselves to daily level energy that love is challenged.
Insisting that our knowledge and love come from daily, ego friendly resources means we are fluent in: guilt and blame, judgement and doubts, arrogance and bitterness separated by random occurrences of compassion, appreciation, patience and possibly humility.

Knowing yourself at your Higher Soul level is to grasp that you are a congress of body, mind, Soul and Spirit.   Acting through any one of these agents of growth we can satisfy many development urges on our trajectory of energy elevation.

Find others on this trajectory.  Seek this solidarity of Self Love where others understand that what we give in appreciation or service to life we receive manifold in peace and perceptions.
Insist on your participation in this League of Souls who accept the task of elevating one’s energy level.
Practice Self Love in big and small ways. Learn what self love looks like in the short and long term. Apply the impact of self love to: health, business, parenting, marriage…
What is self love at different levels of energy and different stages of life?

To be clear the Self Love being talked about the appreciation for one as a person/man/woman.  This is Self Love as a foundation for growth in the subsequent stages of life.  A good reference to get a grasp on this is The Wild Coach post:

Your Best Ego  https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/152856538/posts/70

 

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Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

When we embody Self Love we realize each person is to arrive at it in their own way of positive elevation through the permutations of: love, knowledge and self knowledge.  So we are in solidarity with their development journey.  We can learn from their unique persuasions of Self Love in the challenges of daily life.

Find the folks who are insistent on taking responsibility for their Self Love while at the same time sharing the struggle and the fruits.  As always you can look to nature – to the forest – for examples of the Solidarity of Self Love in action.  A reality where one loves themselves but not at the expense of their own growth or participating with others.

 

You have no equal

You are a unique universal event

 

 

When you are needed be ready with what they need.

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Photo by Josiah Ingels on Unsplash

 

1. When they need direction use your sense of purpose to make your life interesting.

2.  When they need to establish standards offer them ideas of where to put their energy.

3. When they need to prioritize show them how to measure the relevance of things.

4. When they lack self love show them a person who radiates self knowledge.

5 .When they have initiative show them how not to fill it – let it be filled.

6. When they are searching for connection help them handle success and failure.

7. When they are decisive find out their beliefs.

Be The Man = Less Violence More …

parker-whitson-1536723-unsplash   Photo by Parker Whitson on Unsplash

 

My wife and I finally went to that restaurant we had been meaning to go to for maybe a year.  It is in a neighbourhood where we don’t shop or go to often.  Returning from the bathroom I looked up over the doorway to the dining room and saw that famous quote attributed to Gandhi – ‘be the change you want to see in the world’.  Well, yes, yes, yes.  I agree.  I need to hear that and follow through on that everyday.  Now, I am adjusting that sentiment slightly – ‘be the man you want to meet in the world’.

Angry young men are angry young men for a reason.  In part they are angry because after puberty we all receive and process more higher energy.  The higher energy has more potency than we are used to receiving so if you don’t know how to deal with this new energy potency then it can be dangerous.  Imagine you park your Prius outside your home at night and wake up to see a Lamborghini in your parking spot.   You simply are not used to the power at your finger tips.  You don’t know how to direct the abundance of potential at your disposal.  It is this same influx of  life force that make young men feel invincible.  This can mean there are no second thoughts to drink and drive or do drugs or have unprotected sex or vandalize or be a bully.  Why do all those activities if they aren’t productive?  Well – to a young man that isn’t the point.
It is important to clarify here that it is crucial to get out there and have as much fun as possible.  Have a party, travel, take your selfies.  It is, however, not fun if someone else pays for the diversion.  That means your inner religious life shouldn’t be sacrificed by you being a slave to social media or other ego based pursuits.  Leave some time and energy to investigate your inner life.  Leave some energy for patience (as in patience for you to understand) to understand women because they are not men.
  Men generate violence because they don’t create other options. 
  Get patient:)  Get creative!  Get spontaneous!!
So why is bullying or vandalism so attractive to a young man?  The young, unaware men are just using up the energy they wake up with each day.  In fact if they don’t use it up then it gets bottled up and the result can be much worse.  Just think of the ‘incel’.  The involuntary celibate = incel.   Guys who struggle socially so they sit at their computer hating women.   These guys don’t understand what to do for themselves so they hate.  An easy target for their hate is women.  These guys actually don’t hate women.  They don’t know what to do to get happy, to be accepted or who to talk to who can meet them where they are at in life and help them grow.   Hate is not a good use of young man energy.
Our formal Faiths that are practiced in temples and churches are failing young men.  Men need tools for maximizing their daily energy and their elevated energy.  Because our society generates few real resources for higher energy focus this very potent force gets squeezed into the quotidian confines of looking for a (better)job, looking for a (better)life partner and figuring out how to look cool and make money.
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We need relevant steps and tools for the spiritual aspect of life. (Check out other Wild Coach posts)

We as a society do not give our young men the references needed to understand this force that wants to convert him into a vibrant power. We do not provide inspiring opportunities for men to express themselves and figure things out.  We provide the internet and floundering faiths.  They need a scale of stuff to do and a reason for it so they can bridge intensity of youth into intention of life.

We as men cannot continue making women pay for our ignorance of what a man is and the stages he goes through in life.  We need to know what those stages are asking of a man so he can respond and feel accomplished.  So he can offer not just a bruised or inflated ego but also emotional agility instead of fragility!
Look up, breathe, smile and be the man you want to meet in the mirror, in the world.

I.D.E.A.

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Photo by Joshua Sortino on Unsplash
IDEA
Simple tool to get results when taking responsibility for ones emotions,
mental well being and development journey.
I for is Intention – Clarifying what you want to do (Daily) or to cause (Elevated)
D is for Daily– The impact you are aiming for that day in your economic and family life
E is for Elevated – What residue you want in your private/soul life as a result of applying the work towards your Higher self/Spiritual life.
A is for Action – The initiative that attracts positive energy whether you are asking for help, offering it or anything in between that keeps you true to your intention.

The Conflict of the 3 lives Vs Man Dealing

 

andrew-worley-1521961-unsplash          Photo by Andrew Worley on Unsplash

In the hit movie Crazy Rich Asians the mother of the protagonist is Eleanor Young played by Michelle Yeoh.  She plays the part with icy precision.  She tells her son Nick’s latest girlfriend Rachel that a woman does not follow her personal passion at the expense of her family duty.  That comment encapsulates the conflict that women have to deal with.  The task of prioritizing and investing energy and time in one aspect of their life at the expense of others.  Specifically being looked at here are three aspects of our life: the adventure life, the professional life and the maternal life.

Now men have their paternal life that they have also to balance with the satisfaction of their professional and emotional lives.  A man’s life can be rich, deep and layered (not that guys ever talk about it).  However it seems that the internal management of these three lives does not incur the same degree of internal conflict as it does in a woman.  That is not to say that men are better at personal life management because we all know that isn’t true.  There are many a man out there who is lost inside himself and would be lost in his daily life if a woman (mother, girlfriend, sister, or his partner) did not keep him on track with a progression of simple life hacks.

It is not that hard to see how  this difference between men and women can then lead to conflict between them.  Men often can’t grasp how these same three categories of daily life instigate so much drama in a woman.  For the man there is no conflict between these lives.  They are to be prioritized and dealt with.  Welcome to  ‘Man Dealing’.

An expression of Man Dealing can be that he understands, in the moment, that his wife needs what she needs.  Whether it be a massage, arrive home to a clean house or to jump in her car and see someone filled the car with gas so she doesn’t have to stand out there in the wind of a blowing cold, dark January morning for five minutes filling the thing up.  The uncomplicated way of Man Dealing can be useful and efficient.  Not to mention a huge relief so a woman doesn’t have to ask for things or explain why she wants them.

On the other hand the cold satisfaction of Man Dealing can be a massive frustration for women and has no doubt played a part in many an argument.  This can involve him getting angry, fed up, frustrated from his lack of understanding of these three life currents.  A woman feels these currents as three distinct tributaries flowing into a greater river.  A man sees one river, feels one river and makes decisions based on that river.  And that is why, at least inside the man, there is no conflict.  So, according to him, there is nothing to talk about .  Its pretty straightforward.

These life currents have different implications for a woman.  Having children does not impact a man and woman in the same way: physically, psychologically and in terms of the Satisfaction and Fulfillment experience (see my article on Satisfaction and Fulfillment on The Wild Coach blog).  With the hope/expectancy/preparation of having children means the Professional life of a woman will almost certainly be on hiatus, stop or change.  Having a child or children quite possibly translates into less of an adventure life.  Adventure can mean romance, travel, active social life, independence.   Having a family is a nuclear reaction in a woman’s maternal life.

So for women it is a conflict that is not a problem.   However many a problem has been born from the poor management of this reality by both men and women.   There is no female deficiency or lack of feminine perception.   Communication is a two way street.

nikolas-noonan-682177-unsplashPhoto by Nikolas Noonan on Unsplash