The New You Series – Advice – Guidance and Wisdom

There is a well known adage that perhaps was coined by Confucoius or is alluded to in the Bible.  Either way it goes like this:

‘Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and he eats for a lifetime.’

It would appear to hold true. This is very much the Rich Dad/Poor Dad juxtaposition.

Perhaps, in hindsight, there is a line missing:

Forget to demand respect for the planet from the man and he will destroy fish stocks and end up giving his children farmed fish full of chemicals. 

Let’s look at the adage through the lens of: Advice, Guidance and Wisdom.

At the level of advice is ‘give a man a fish’

At the level of guidance is ‘teach him to fish’

At the level of wisdom is ‘demand respect, from yourself and others, on behalf of the planet’  

Advice

Is for guys

Application is to work life, guy life, ego buoyancy, for not looking stupid, to the now

Forms of Advice – tips, sayings, phrases, guyisms, answers, encouragement

Advice provides timely ideas for someone to make decisions to get results.

Advice for any person, at any age in any stage in life.  It is useful to daily life and can stand the test of time. 

Provenance – brain

Relevance – bridging the moment with what you want

Photo by Anaya Katlego on Unsplash


Guidance 

Guidance is for men.

Application – Guidance is a resource for learning to deal with fear, for growing awareness, for understanding others, for facing the future.

Forms of Guidance – story, map, the legend on a map, questions, challenges

Guidance hints at the man you become if you listen to it and let it impact your life

Provenance – heart

Relevance – love, the need to love and be loved

Photo by JD Mason on Unsplash

Wisdom

Is for The New You,

Application is for participation in service to something bigger than you, curiosity and reflection

Forms of Wisdom – crystalized, dense yet light in its transmission, mysterious and confusing and settling

Wisdom is the language of the instinct talking about finding meaning and integrating it into life

Provenance – soul

Relevance – magnetizing to the truth and electrifying to action

Practice all 3 (Advice – Guidance – Wisdom): Know the difference so advice doesn’t get passed off as guidance; and wisdom doesn’t get reduced to guidance.

Demand advice from your peers, guidance from your parents and wisdom from your elders.

Pioneer The New You

The following is an excerpt from my new book Satisfaction: How A Man Elevates His Skills And Qualities To Generate What He Wants. The book highlights men’s Emotional Agility. Emotional Agility here refers to a person’s capacity to synthesize daily and devotion emotion. This is the degree to which a person can cultivate their own sense of meaning while integrating the sense of peace this brings into their daily life. Emotional Agility is the way a person is able to rise up above the grind of daily life to recognize higher realms of awareness.

Pioneering implies going into the unknown. That is scary and can cause us to retreat into our habits when we actually can feel a need to grow. Pioneering the New You requires us to be brave and creative, perseverant and sensitive.

From page 108 … “The New You doesn’t exist without the old you. Yet the New You uses the past and resists being used by it. By standing firmly on your past with eyes into the future you invoke perception about what to do now. Each day, for each of us there is always a New You available. A version of you that comes with a higher level of intention.

Your New You grasps that a man changes as he is processed through the succession of Life Stages. He also realizes his spouse will experience a corresponding change thus the New You is nimble in the moment to update himself with the intricacies of her growth. the New you isn’t scared of the moment because he has no need to control it. the moment is free to flow into the future. So is the New You. Free to stop, smile and tell your wife she looks great.

The New You accesses his agility to get satisfaction. He is tune to his finesse to facilitate Fulfillment in others. He declares what he wants and has the humility to do the work to make it a reality.

Re issue of 5 things a young man needs to hear from an elder

  1. Always be generating.  Generate your own reason for what you’re doing.  This makes you the author of your own story so you aren’t at the mercy of someone else’s laziness. Be clean.
  2. Connect with nature: breathe through your nose, put down the phone, walk barefoot, let yourself be marveled. Make nature your man cave.  Use the peace in the moment and the power of nature to visualize you: healthy, successful, happy, spontaneous, loved, loving and emotionally agile.
  3. Frame your journey according to the various stages of life.  This really helps when dealing with stress to understand what is impacting us so we can take responsibility for it.  This is a proactive measure to rise above violence against women.
  4. Understand how to understand women. If you don’t know how to access your abilities you will end up squandering your mutual love. As a man you can do what your wife asks you to do. As a husband you can ask yourself what she would want and then do it.
  5. Be of service.  Find people who don’t count the cost.  Read the books they read.

Love in the Time of Coronavirus

We live in a different world than we did 2 months ago. And our world will be again made different by the regulations and fears that accompany the re-ignition of daily life in the weeks and months when quarantines are lifted.

We live on a different planet than the characters in Gabriel Garcia Marquez 1985 novel, Love In The Time of Cholera. Taking place from 1880 – 1930 likely in Colombia. The protagonists profess their long distance love by telegraph and hand written letters that can take days and weeks to finally get read and be replied to. Nowadays we tweet, text and FaceTime in the moment – all the time. The content of the messages is the same. In the south and the north we are all searching for the same thing.

To love and be loved.

Photo by Luis Vidal on Unsplash

Fast forward 100 years or so and we can exchange Cholera for Coronavirus. Both are infectious diseases that can cause death. For that matter one might say there are some similarities with love.

What have we learned? About love and infection.

Here is a story from the here and now.

She brought her daughter and a dog. He had his 2 children and a dog. They married and added a child of their own. They came from contrasting cultures. Something happened to harmony. Not overnight.

For this man and woman now their many relationships as spouses, parents, step mom/dad and with in-laws are to some degree: disastrous, toxic and dangerous to all participants. Who is to blame?

We can blame him for sure. Because his patience ran out. We can also blame her because she doesn’t have anymore patience. We can definitely blame their parents who didn’t use all those years guide them into the necessary Self-Love. Add to your Coronaworld those infuriating times in a marriage and you have a recipe for disaster. We all need a good dose of Self-Love to get through the disruption and uncertainty that is Your Life During Coronavirus.

The more Self-Love we can muster these days then the less like a personal attack this whole situation can feel. While we are all doing some version of ‘sheltering in place’ or self-isolation or social distancing or quarantine we need to adjust to our new circumstance or get adjusted by it. There is no commuting to work, drive-through coffee, popping out for lunch, office flirting, useless meetings to complain about, personal space or no stories of what happened today at work or school.

We all need to give each other and ourselves a break because nobody saw this pandemic coming. Except Bill Gates. Many years and millions of dollars of donations ago.

Photo by Jove Duero on Unsplash

Love in the Time of Coronavirus is love of the imperfect you. Love of the grace of planet Earth. Loving the feeling of breathing in fresh spring air in a time when it might be dangerous to breathe. Love of forgiving and being forgiven – quickly when possible. Slowly when not.

Offering your smile to someone else is Self-Love. Complimenting their cooking is Self-Love; so is waking the dishes. People laughing at you instead of your dumb joke takes a fair amount of Self-Love. Belief in a life journey takes Self-love because it means you know that you are part of something bigger than daily life. Refining your habits, routines and rituals in order to offer your spouse a Satisfied husband is a good example of Self-Love. Because you want your Self-Love to be a part of your spouse’s happiness.

Soul Workout – 5 of 5

So, one more time …

Your soul loves its job. Your soul loves being …

It loves the books you read and the fresh spring air that you draw into your lungs. Your soul loves your kitchen dance. That dance you do to your YouTube playlist while you cook.

Jason Briscoe on Unsplash

Even when life isolates you because of a global pandemic or because of lack of understanding in your relationship you still generate love. It’s the soul love mentioned above. Many times the fact of soul love is little consolation when we are dealing with mid-life mayhem. Know that to lead ourselves and our family day after day we apply belief in the soul that pushes and pulls us.

Like in the emergence of spring, there is a Green power in us that gives birth, creates new and finds a way. It allows us to see the invisible. Which in fact is not invisible just not yet happened.

Accompanied by our soul we bring potential into being. In the process The New You blooms. The New You for what is clean and true and in the moment.

Make Their Fulfillment Your Satisfaction

When their Fulfillment becomes your Satisfaction. That is one of the Magical Arts of Love.

H Heyerlein on Unsplash

Remember the Art of War where the local administration is in charge of the decisions which the army carries out for the benefits of the community to live in peace. ‘In Peace’ feels great for us personally. But it is the impact at the human level that this environment of peace permits the soul to do it’s work. The soul is childlike in its enthusiasm, it’s readiness to enhance the human experience; your life.

Participating in this enhancement of someone else, because you made their fulfillment your satisfaction, is a valid expression of love. See a previous post for a bit of background: https://wordpress.com/block-editor/post/wild-coach.com/97

Part of the art of this love is understanding that the person we are supporting will shine. In part because of you.

Their shining for who and what they are and what they love to do is not a rejection of you. You are not being left behind. You are getting a glimpse of The New You of your spouse.

Designecologist on Unsplash

She loves you for support and feels you too want to rise into your The New You.

Soul Workout – 4

Your soul loves its job. Your soul loves being your soul.

Jon Butterworth on Unsplash

Your soul loves when you: connect with the planet; breathe in and feel part of the moment; sense you are in the flow of now. This can elevate you into your Devotion Emotion. This is our Yellow Power. This is loving and being loved.

Loving the belief in life’s trajectory; being loved by the higher realms that our source of light.

Jon Butterworth on Unsplash

Ask:

How do I create light for others like the higher realms do for me? This is the religious roller coaster of getting devotional and then re-integrating the elevated you with daily life. This is our fabulous challenge. And this is what helps us develop into a fabulous person.

Soul Workout – 3

Jesse Gardner on Unsplash

Your soul loves its job. Your soul loves being your soul.

It’s a cloudy and cool spring day here now. Which works for the moment. Since you can’t see it, imagine the light blue of the sky. Endless and true and welcoming. Stay with this colour blue …

One way to keep up with your soul is to develop your intuition and observation skills. This allows your sensitivity to respond not only to ego matters but to soul signals as well.

Form on Unsplash

What are pushups for the soul is when we can use our higher faculty again and again in order to project how we want to grow. Using the mental faculty now we can make the future connections we want.

When we can carve out the time in daily life (or there is a worldwide pandemic and we can’t leave home) there is an opportunity to elevate and focus the mind.

Breathe …

What do you want?

Why do you want it? What will it cause in you? How will that be of service to: your spouse, the planet, your devotion life, …?