What does a man marry?

The wedding is just one day.  Vows, wedding dress, toasts, food, speeches, slideshow, dancing, relatives, a childhood friend, a colleague.

The actual marriage is when we marry ourselves with our spouse the rest of our marriage. Without being in any way unfaithful, a man actually marries varied forces on a constant basis to offer his wife on a constant basis for her to use as needed.

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How does he marry forces?

Using his vibrant power –

– using his capabilities to help, to lead and get satisfaction.

A man loves to accompany others in their success and be accompanied in theirs.

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What does he need to do this?:

A man needs a direction to shine his light as a man, a husband.

A man needs a higher purpose to rise above daily whims and challenges.


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What is a man’s reality from which to do all this?

It is a mans challenge to combine his abilities and responsibilities in a manner that he can learn from the experience and for the experience to be beneficial for everyone impacted.

Where does he find the internal leverage to receive his reality and improve it in some small way ?

A man is emotionally agile with ready resources that enable him to respond to life with spontaneity not violence.

Said another way:

A man is responsible to keep the embers hot in the fire for life through admiration of others, curiosity and resilience.

Taken to another level – 

Men need to foster their intrinsic male sensitivity.   This is done by marrying this man-fire with their answer to the urge to maintain and strengthen their energetic connections with the higher forces of growth.

Repeat when possible.

Share as you wish.

Memory Games

My dad’s 83 year old mind needs exercise. Yes he reads the actual paper, organizes his stuff and has a few phone calls in his day but other than that not much stimulation. My mom keeps their apartment in order, cooks and pays their bills.

So in order to keep his mind agile my mom has put a memory game out on the table for us to play. There are colourful disks with cartoon drawings of dolphins and cactus, beach ball and clown. A child’s memory game. It’s pattern recognition 101: Finding the matching image.


Photo by Cody Doherty on Unsplash

AI is pattern recognition that is so thorough it sucks the life out anything it is set upon. Specifically as we know: jobs.

Artificial intelligence is making many jobs obsolete while creating a handful of others. The loss and gain of jobs in itself is actually a pattern of industry ebb and flow as we have witnessed over the years. This as always will close some doors while opening others. However the real threat of AI is more the lives behind the loss of jobs than its impact on the economy.

There could well be the arrival one day of a pervading reality when many a man will wake up each morning feeling empty. Empty because someone steals your ability and drive to get stuff done!

Normally when your mind is deliciously challenged by life and work you wake up without an alarm in the mornings; perception loves you and you solve problems with alacrity. These life challenges can also cause stress. Hopefully it is more the kind of stress of finding solutions than the stress of not being able to locate ones resources for success.

This intertwining of success and struggles is what helps form our identity.


Photo by Christian Burri on Unsplash

So a man loses his sense of meaning when he wakes up and does not attack the day. Instead of him projecting himself into the new day – he stagnates. This is dangerous. This creates angry, fragile, insecure men. These men can easily become vehicles of violence. Especially using women as their physical or emotional punching bags.

So. To the authors of AI who design and manufacture your remarkable robots. To you who add an AI start up to your investment portfolio – do your homework. Be the person who accounts for the fallout. Be the man that the military should be before they send their sons and daughters to war. Know what you are asking the soul of your people to do. Bypassing your instinct and ignoring this need for meaning in daily life is irresponsible, rude and damaging.

You have the knowledge of the consequences of your actions. Your decisions are a reflection of your grasp of the beauty of human life and your response to the fragility that can undermine it.

And of course there is Another AI. The Authentic Intelligence. In other words the human based pattern recognition system called the soul…?! It’s an excellent investment. Perhaps the 2 AI systems can work hand in hand.

For some guys this is not important


Somehow with all the apps that are designed for convenience, for example a parking app to find an available street parking spot in the surrounding 6 blocks,  life seems to be more complicated now than ever before.  If we continually tell us this then it actually becomes true.  One of those temporary truths – but at least true for us in the moment.  Yes we have social media always tugging at your sleeve.  And there is also your phone constantly nudging you to steal your energy.  There is always something popping up.  If we are to get stuff done and learn or grow or wonder we need to resist the phone/internet/social media tentacles.  Resistance is not futile- Resistance is CRUCIAL!  Resist the fleeting to accept and digest you in the moment.

We resist anything by making something more important.  So take the time to have a short mental list at the ready for you to use as resistance.  A list of things that are more important than checking your Facebook again.  Important things have more energetic leverage.

So make important things important!!

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Things like your love of self whatever in the world that means – but give it some time.  If you repeat it without being interrupted by your phone then you receive some ideas.  You have to build resistance – so you have to repeat yourself – your petition for self love.

Things like your love of nature.

Things like your growing belief in your life passion(purpose …?).

Make a list in your notes on your phone.  On a recycled piece of paper to stuff in your wallet.

  1.  The solidarity with my soul to always find a way to grow forward and stay intact.




Go Yaw.

George Gurdjieff the mystic and spiritual teacher spoke about universal forces and principles. One very simple yet powerful concept is that of pitch and yaw.  Pitch is the thrusting outward force and yaw the receptive energy.  Here it is easy for an overlay to be seen with the yin yang understandings. I like to think the word Yoga had a little hint or message right there in the short 4 letters of the word. It is asking us, maybe telling us to – go ya. In other words right there in the name is the essence of the discipline: go yaw. We are being asked to do the work of the poses and stretches in order to set us up to receive.

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Photo by Katee Lue on Unsplash


So in class we do the movements and breathing to get to a point where you can receive, as in yaw, after the pitching nature of your movements.

As in any Martial Art the original purpose of yoga is to create oneself as a a node of connection between higher and foundational energies.  Practice over time produces self knowledge. This in turn results in personal growth so one can better manage daily life to be able to participate in elevating self knowledge.

Yoga is amazing. After a class I feel my body on a subtle hum and my mind at peace (read I carry less internal friction based in the whims of the day).

The breathing, the stretching, the speeds all combine under the guidance of a teacher who lands us in shavasana (lying down ‘corpse pose’ that can be followed by seated meditation). This puts me in a place of readiness to offer high quality stillness to connect with higher realms of perception.

                                                                          So go ya(w)!


Photo by Daniel Mingook Kim on Unsplash

Label Yourself

LABEL = Love and be Loved 

Seek something to love in the other person – Offer them something to love.

Seek their positive and the quirky aspects, the puzzling or the endearing habits.

Offer your time, offer your accompaniment in this stage of life, offer your perception about growing and acceptance of what needs to be forgiven.

Make the higher more important than the lower as an engine to generate self love.



Photo by Hian Oliveira on Unsplash

Ego love.

Love the service that your ego provides to your higher development life.  The ego level of you needs approval and attention and to be included and feel important.  So you give it all those things.  But not at the expense of your ability to grow.  

You can do it.

You probably already are.  Just get better.


The Avenue of Cedar


How many times have I ordered a coffee or a burger and the minimum wage worker has not had a good attitude, a fake smile or even given me a ‘Hi, welcome to my low pay part time burger hell can I take your order!!’   Can you blame them?

The thing is they are obviously not happy at work.  That is not the fault of the people in their family waiting for them at the end of the day.  Likewise if their family life is a disaster then that is not my fault if I am just looking to grab a quick coffee and have a question or two.

But it happens to us all.  Things build up from all sides of life.  We can’t complain or speak up at work for fear of repercussions.   So we bring our frustration home.  Which is unfair to our spouse and children and pets.  So to keep us out of trouble and therapy or the bar, here are a few suggestions.  Using your mind to get you into a better space quickly you will walk through your front door and offer your family the real you – the real deal!

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The Avenue of Cedar – Whether you are stepping into the hallway from your office towards the elevator or from the elevator to your condo to walk down the hall to your home this is an excellent technique to decompress from your crazy day.

Picture the hallway lined with tall, verdant cedar trees.  Growing at various angles, thick with branches and home to many birds.  Breathe in the fresh air they generate.  Breathe out your ________________ (fill in the blank with your frustration, disappointment, anger, disdain)  .  Repeat.  Breathe in clean forest and breathe out daily refuse.  Make good notice of the bright green of the cedar leaves.  Know that they are full of life and they clean you of the static energy you have collected in your day.  Picture the Avenue of cedar.


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Daily Cascade – as you go down the elevator at lunch or the end of the day envision you are enveloped in a long, cascading waterfall. Feel the water refresh you as it sprays and sparkles. Breathe in the clean, charged air.  Imagine the swirling pool at the bottom and the moss covered rocks bright green in the rays of the sun.  Close your eyes and stay in the moment.  Breathe in again and … walk out of the elevator rejuvenated.

Let me know how it goes …