Your Best Ego


brandon-erlinger-ford-1504691-unsplash                                         Photo by Brandon Erlinger-Ford on Unsplash


In February a pipe burst on the second floor parking garage and flooded the elevator bay in our condo.  This had two major impacts.

One was we couldn’t use the elevator for 2 days.  We had to, get ready for it, use the stairs.  We are on the 11th floor so it was a work out.  I work from home so I was in and out about 4 times that day as usual walking the dog etc.  The exercise actually felt good and I thought I should do it more often.

The other issue was that the drywall by the elevators was damaged and they had to replace some wires.  The wires went behind the four long mirrors in the elevator bay.  They had to take out two of the mirrors and boarded the up with plywood.  It has been like that for 6 weeks.  When you rely on those mirrors to confirm how you look to the world it can really throw you off your game.  Especially when you have been coming out of those elevators for years and habitually being pulled to your reflection.  Good thing there area about 10 more mirrors in the lobby to confirm my looks.

Not unrelated to my ego and how I look is how I grow.  I grow up through my ego into My Best Ego.

Your Best Ego can help you see your abilities as a woman/man. This can lead to perception about you as a lady/gentleman. So you using your ego as an agent for growth is a great ego boost:) As in your ego boosting you up the energy scale to connect with higher realms that can be of use when you are challenged in life. Times when you need the mental and emotional agility to find reasons of how and why to keep maturing as opposed to being petty or lazy. As opposed to being flat-lined by society and a lack of life education leading to perception. You Best Ego is part of the foundation that can receive and handle the call for you as human. You as the human embodiment of spirit.

So ego is useful.
You full of ego is dangerous.
Your ego is not the answer for personal growth endeavours. That is the territory of you the woman/man who can manage the divergent tasks of daily demands and a search for soul understandings.

Ego is good to get you through your day.
Your Best Ego will get you through the day intact as a person on a development journey so that you have the energy to follow through on those urges to be quiet, to wonder about the soul, to want to be of service to the planet and your community.
And to have your life decisions uphold your spiritual growth.

My ego is egotistical. So is yours.
Your Best Ego is funny, proud, vulnerable and has a huge bounce back factor from the challenges of life.  In the end it is about what you make possible: the elevations of you! Along the way (as you discover the how and why of your elevations) you need to make money and have friends and help your family and have learning experiences and struggle with the various aspects of well being.
Your Best Ego knows that a lower level ego has an incredibly addictive personality that is dictatorial on all things in its life: people, love, time. So it is to recognize that we don’t need to go to the gym and build ego muscles that make us bulky strong but not so flexible. More along the lines of ego yoga that makes us supple for what life throws at us and ready for the invitation to grow into a surprising you.

Knowing what you want in Your Best Ego is an empowering life decision. Take the time to make the delineation between run of the mill, dollar store ego and Your Best Ego.

matt-seymour-455225-unsplash          Photo by Matt Seymour on Unsplash

Stop The Presses


Photo by Jordan Pulmano on Unsplash

The Joker is mesmerized by the photo of Vicki Vale in a photo and says …
you guessed it,
“Stop the presses!!!”

That was from the Batman movie of 1989 with Jack Nicholson falling in lust for Kim Bassinger.  That was when we knew what the phrase meant and where it actually came from.

Even with the decline of print media it is still a great phrase to communicate your amazement at something that takes you by surprise – like when you walk by your teenager’s room freshly cleaned room?!:)

The ‘presses’ being alluded to here are a few incumbent processes on our developing lives.  Depression is getting more air time these days and that is great for those who can use the relief of being able to just talk about what they are feeling as a way to ‘take out the garbage’ and move on.  That is one of the presses: depression.  One of the pressures we feel as we grow and struggle with everything from identity to career choice to life partner choice to adding and subtracting to our beliefs.  Unto itself depression is sickening but it can somehow deliver a sense of belonging that can confuse us into thinking we want to stay under that cloud. That we are happier where we are depressed?!?

Repression of emotions is another effective and common press – ure we feel on a daily basis.  We don’t speak our mind at work about our feelings regarding incompetent politicians that seem to be multiplying internationally. Or we resist challenging cultural assumptions like polite Canadians, ignorant Americans, feminism or manism (what it means to be putting authentic man into the world).  These are daily emotions that we may not speak, we repress, for fear or repercussions.

Repression continues when we resist answering any kind of higher calling.  A higher calling doesn’t imply the priesthood – but it comes from the same source for the same reason.  This is where our society (education, religion, corporate) is failing – in a big bad way.  Soul satisfaction is calling, is available, is normal/natural/necessary and we aren’t sure who is calling, why, what the message is and how to respond.  We repress our searching urge with elegant distractions like shopping, social media, hobbies, travel and even religion.  In fact none of these things is bad and some are excellent manners of personal growth but not at the expense of souling.  Feeling lost is the best thing that can happen to you if can locate the desire, the external help, the internal resources to forge your path into the future.  We can’t kid ourselves – there are very few of us in our daily lives who use same the tools and techniques of living a modern life to investigate and understand what to do about fate and destiny.  We repress the real reality of being called to a development journey and its painful.

Compressor – compression – compress – that’s the name of the game.  Take life and get the residue out of it that is valuable for daily success and elevated connection. Go for it!  Try it.  Think about it.  Ask the morning breeze about it as you walk through the park early morning, lunch break, late evening.

GPS means Good People Soul


falco-negenman-676812-unsplashPhoto by Falco Negenman on Unsplash


The 3 year old child that lives on the floor above us really doesn’t make that much noise. As in I have never lost any sleep or been woken up by him/her.
I can’t say that about the young guy who used to live beside us and have friends over (they weren’t parties according to him). My daughter would be kept up late at night or woken up many times – and she was really tired the next day.

How we manage our energy determines a lot about what we do and what we become. Personal energy management is exposed to various factors that can challenge its effectiveness. Sleep, as we saw above, or any other aspect of health that is not in well being can be a drag on our physical, mental and personal health.

Since in school we generally are not introduced to the concept of a development journey or the idea of levels of energy it can be really useful to take the time to find a few practical tools that can help us deal with daily life and still have a little time and desire to pursue an active soul life.

Lower levels of energy are heavier or coarser and impede your best you. You won’t be as willing to grow or have the same insights about how to address all the challenges and opportunities of life with coarse energy. Energy, as it elevates is refining and fosters your mind to be agile and look for a positive way forward in life.


Photo by jcob nasyr on Unsplash

One way to delve further into these gradients of energy is through the 3 levels of you: Ego, Soul, Spirit. Another way you can call them is: You, Man/Woman, Higher self.

Each level of energy is a natural state to be in for any of us. However we don’t spend our whole life in just one level. Nowadays I think it is safe to say that most of us spend 80% of our time in the Ego level. Then perhaps 18 or 19% on the Soul leaving just 1% for the Human Spirit.

If we find ourselves looking for meaning in life or a sense of purpose in our personal and professional life then having a specific strategy for energy management can be useful. Simply put it can be broken down to the Ego level of your life gets FEELING energy. This means it is about how you feel about you in the moment. This is important but not very powerful because it is about just one person.

The next level is the Man / Woman level as we grow into our abilities to use life’s twists and turns to help us develop into an honourable person. This soul level of us gets EMOTION energy. This energy is about human qualities and so it is a much more powerful energy. So in fact the more we want energy and attention for our ego self it is recommended to focus more of our time into the human level of us because being in service to something bigger than oneself makes us more attractive. This may seem like a funny apparent contradiction. However it can pay off for all levels of our life and for those around us as we become a person whose words are congruent with their actions and therefore can be trusted by the people around us to follow through.

Level 3 of 3 – the Higher You; Spirit realms. And quite often unknown territory. We can feel this aspect of ourselves when we are out in the park or forest early morning. A few birds are chirping and a fox lopes away at the sound of our footsteps. There is a connection that has been built overnight in the park between the energies of the natural life that we walk into and are graced by. The energy of this sensation feels peaceful. When we try to visually locate it it seems elusive – dashing behind a tree. It is the finer levels of natural energies that we can connect to and arrive at clarity about what we think about and we are worried about – what we want our life to be about. Because it is about what you want in the spiritual context it is the energy of PASSION. What we want others to know about us as we really are. This can have the greatest impact on: all levels of our life, those around us, those yet to come and the atmosphere of the planet.

Find what words can locate you in each level of your life and use those words to become the person you want to be at each level.

I have been married for 15 years


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I have been married for 15 years.  I am not sure what is happening.  I think though it is worth keeping going to try and figure it out a bit more.  At least in my case.  Every marriage is different.  I have found how to mold myself around my family which I really enjoy for the benefits because i get time to myself.  I don’t need a man cave because I just get up earlier than everyone and live in my tiptoe world in the morning.  Take the dog for a walk, write or make funny meditation attempts or clean up and start to make coffee.  I would have not scripted it this way but it really works for me and my wife.   And I really need to be smart with that time because the sun comes up quickly whether you’re married or not.  So marriage …

It’s not an institution – that is where non politically correct crazy people are shipped off to.
What we end up doing to the experience of marriage would indicate that many of us are candidates to be shipped of as well.

Marriage is a good thing. Put another way marriage is a great thing.
I recommend it to everyone. It is made difficult by our lack of understanding.
Wouldn’t it be crazy to have a Marriage Day in high school. You know, just like Professional Day when a few moms and dads come in and talk to the students about what they do for a living and how they got to where they are now. The idea is that students will make decisions that support their professional growth if they have some reference and guidance about the path of professionalism.
Likewise, for Marriage Day at school the students get exposed to the experience of people in their community as a service to help them form their mind sets on an aspect of their life that has huge impact. So one parent would come in and have 15 minutes to talk to the class about the realities of marriage. Then their spouse comes in and talk for 15 minutes to the same class. Students then discuss what they heard. For example highlighting how the two partners might have very different approach to the same aspect of marriage. No doubt the students would have their own ideas based on their experiences of marriages that they observe. Young people are actually starving to know what is healthy relationship and learn how to live in a healthy marriage. And, when you think about it, not just young people – everyone.

Marriage is its own entity. It actually isn’t your marriage. It is your wedding with the gown, vows, bachelor party, reception, photos. But it isn’t your marriage. You are married not to your husband or wife. You are married to the marriage and the other participant in that marriage is your spouse.
Marriage is a union that petitions us for growth by the virtue of it not being for any one person – for neither person. We get the benefit of companionship and care from our loved one but the marriage gives a result to the history and life of marriage.
Marriage is service. Yes to your partner but that is simply to keep them in good stead so they continue participating in the marriage.
A little weird take on marriage but it can help us understand that marriage is a service industry.
Service to our spouse and to who or what ever benefits from the produce of marriage. Children are the produce of intercourse – not marriage.
Marriage is a human endeavour, one of the many. If you never marry then your human endeavours will be other – seek them out.

The planet is impacted by every single person and every single one of their thoughts, words and actions. Marriage being a service to something greater than oneself (while we receive some personal benefits along the way) is what feeds the planet with higher human produce – electro-magnetic activity. It is the nature of marriage of being not about ones ego as a first principle yet requiring our ego and soul to exist, grow and produce results like: respect, understanding of women, encouraging the man to flourish, learning the many arts of waiting – and of listening, being flexible, forgiving. We molt out of old habits and foster new habits that develop into rituals. The kinds of rituals that feed the marriage and the participants on ego and soul levels.
This produce is available to the next marriage that comes along in the example that is visible to see in daily life and the electrical avenues along which a living marriage can flow.

Marriage is …