Believe it or not, your husband loves you.
He may not say the words very often. He probably doesn’t think the thought ‘I love my wife’.
However he does love you. For a variety of reasons:
Because of you he is not lonely.
Because of you he has someone to love.
Because of you he is loved.
He is loved for his unique way and despite his defects.
He loves you because loving you keeps him connected to being a man of service, of having an intention every day and a purpose in the big picture. Even though he may lose sight of one or both of those as he engages each stage of life. Being disconnected from you, from a sense of service and purpose impacts the man you love to the marrow. Showing up as being irritable to feeling defeated.
He loves you because you grasp his struggle, how it affects him and how to companion him. You know his struggle is based not in the temporary disorientation he feels but in the knowing that he is authentic and wants to showcase that. Which he does through his confidence, humility and agility. Confidence to show you the man you married, humility before your marriage with an agility to embody the changes it petitions him to make.
As you know he needs help expressing his love. Obviously as you know – violence, be it in words, physically, any abuse – is not love. We all know that. No excuses.
Your actual husband that you believe in and whose love you yearn for, seeks opportunities to make you happy. Creates experiences that say ‘I love you’ (He might even say it in words:).
So let’s find the man, highlight the gentleman – feel the love.