I have been married for 15 years

Photo by Jenny Caywood on Unsplash

I have been married for 15 years.  I am not sure what is happening.  I think though it is worth keeping going to try and figure it out a bit more.  At least in my case.  Every marriage is different.  I have found how to mold myself around my family which I really enjoy for the benefits because i get time to myself.  I don’t need a man cave because I just get up earlier than everyone and live in my tiptoe world in the morning.  Take the dog for a walk, write or make funny meditation attempts or clean up and start to make coffee.  I would have not scripted it this way but it really works for me and my wife.   And I really need to be smart with that time because the sun comes up quickly whether you’re married or not.  So marriage …

It’s not an institution – that is where non politically correct crazy people are shipped off to.
What we end up doing to the experience of marriage would indicate that many of us are candidates to be shipped of as well.

Marriage is a good thing. Put another way marriage is a great thing.
I recommend it to everyone. It is made difficult by our lack of understanding.
Wouldn’t it be crazy to have a Marriage Day in high school. You know, just like Professional Day when a few moms and dads come in and talk to the students about what they do for a living and how they got to where they are now. The idea is that students will make decisions that support their professional growth if they have some reference and guidance about the path of professionalism.
Likewise, for Marriage Day at school the students get exposed to the experience of people in their community as a service to help them form their mind sets on an aspect of their life that has huge impact. So one parent would come in and have 15 minutes to talk to the class about the realities of marriage. Then their spouse comes in and talk for 15 minutes to the same class. Students then discuss what they heard. For example highlighting how the two partners might have very different approach to the same aspect of marriage. No doubt the students would have their own ideas based on their experiences of marriages that they observe. Young people are actually starving to know what is healthy relationship and learn how to live in a healthy marriage. And, when you think about it, not just young people – everyone.

Marriage is its own entity. It actually isn’t your marriage. It is your wedding with the gown, vows, bachelor party, reception, photos. But it isn’t your marriage. You are married not to your husband or wife. You are married to the marriage and the other participant in that marriage is your spouse.
Marriage is a union that petitions us for growth by the virtue of it not being for any one person – for neither person. We get the benefit of companionship and care from our loved one but the marriage gives a result to the history and life of marriage.
Marriage is service. Yes to your partner but that is simply to keep them in good stead so they continue participating in the marriage.
A little weird take on marriage but it can help us understand that marriage is a service industry.
Service to our spouse and to who or what ever benefits from the produce of marriage. Children are the produce of intercourse – not marriage.
Marriage is a human endeavour, one of the many. If you never marry then your human endeavours will be other – seek them out.

The planet is impacted by every single person and every single one of their thoughts, words and actions. Marriage being a service to something greater than oneself (while we receive some personal benefits along the way) is what feeds the planet with higher human produce – electro-magnetic activity. It is the nature of marriage of being not about ones ego as a first principle yet requiring our ego and soul to exist, grow and produce results like: respect, understanding of women, encouraging the man to flourish, learning the many arts of waiting – and of listening, being flexible, forgiving. We molt out of old habits and foster new habits that develop into rituals. The kinds of rituals that feed the marriage and the participants on ego and soul levels.
This produce is available to the next marriage that comes along in the example that is visible to see in daily life and the electrical avenues along which a living marriage can flow.

Marriage is …