Photo by Sylas Boesten on Unsplash
My dog barks at the other dog. Strong but not ferocious.
‘Good girl!’ I confirm quietly as I give her a quick pet.
The other dog walker at 6 pm in the park doesn’t really get it. Actually seems insulted like I thought she was a security risk and needed to be intimidated. I was merely appreciating my dog following her protective instincts. I guess I am worth protecting:)
I do admit sometimes she can go overboard. Many of the dogs in our condo and neighbourhood are harmless. That is if you don’t take into account that they might not make it to the sidewalk and pee in the hallway from the elevator to the outside door. Still our Retriever is a fabulous family member and if she is known as a young woman with no fear of speaking her mind then I am totally on board with that!
That can make making friends problematic as other owners won’t want to coordinate play dates out of fear. Likewise for us two leggers, making the right friends is crucial.
Choosing a life partner is not easy.
That’s why knowing yourself to some deeper degree goes a long way towards to growing a sense of peace over time. Developing good habits makes life into an experience of proactive adventures (as opposed to reactive drama). Both of these, self knowledge and good habits, can attract or repel a potential mate.
So too can clarifying what you want. To be on the path of getting what you want in order to become what you want.
What 3 things do you seek in a relationship and what 3 things do you offer?
A simple tool that is reproducible for several aspects of your life.
‘Wait for, want, need, expect, look for’ are all different approaches to life. Some will yield better results than others.
When you ‘seek’ something you are being proactive. It is like pursuing or even hunting. It is more than searching because we can ‘do a quick Google search’ once and come up with nothing in relation to what we are looking for. Or if it is something you really want, you seek it out.
That’s why we are specifically using the word seek.
Seek is partnered with Offer. Offer because the other person has the option whether they think what you offer is what they seek. Is it the level they want to live at for the reasons they want to make their life decisions?
‘Let your standards do the hard work for you’. With Seek and Offer you have a simple tool at hand to help absorb life, extract meaning and move on.
What do you seek: 1. 2. 3. and what do you offer: 1. 2. 3.
The heart seeks the blood the venal system has to offer, discard the CO2, to then marry with oxygen and immediately turn around and offer the red arterial blood that the body seeks. We are just like the heart, this processor that learns what to seek and offer how, when, why.
In your relationships
seek – don’t settle; seek something else or someone else or the same thing a different way or with different people or in a different place
offer – what makes you happy to offer in a way that makes the receiver happy to receive.
Seek someone who wants to be loved and offers you love
Offer someone who wants to love and be loved
Seek to grow
Offer them the person that they will love 10, 20, 30, 40 years from now.
In your professional life
seek – recognition, teamwork, challenge
offer – feedback, support, creativity
In your partner life
seek – their best, what they mean, them in the stress
offer – my best, me in the moment, a future
in your community life (friends, family, neighbourhood)
seek – friendship, companionship, laughter
offer – help, service, difference
seek/offer: the answer to one’s complaints
seek/offer the willingness to be loved and the generosity to love
seek – meaning, peace, connection
offer – sincerity, continuance, responsibility
Photo by Bence Balla-Schottner on Unsplash